SH

You can't be skinny.

2012-01-18T00:36:00.000-08:00

I've blogged this over and over, but feel the need to say it again: To the people who post things/pictures about skinny girls and say "This is not 'sexy', Marilyn Monroe wasn't bone thin and she was beautiful." Or say things like "Curves are sexy, people...not bones." Guess what?...

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING SKINNY.

What is the deal with people wanting to do away with tiny framed girls? How does it make sense that EVERYONE is supposed to look the same-slash-have curves? Some girls are naturally thin, NATURALLY.THIN. Some girls work out, some WANT to be skinny & some don't want to look like Kim Kardashian.

Tell me why it's always a "CURVEY" person arguing this issue? You don't see bone thin girls trying to prove why it's okay to be skinny. But heavier girls feel the need to let you know (repeatedly) that it's ok, cause "Kim & Khloe, Marilyn (blah blah blah) are super curvey, and they're sexy!") It's just as annoying as it would be to see a girl putting a picture of Hilary Duff (circa 2007), up and saying "This is how a woman should look."

Some people try and gain weight, and can't. Just as some try and LOSE weight, and can't. I know that Kim Kardashian is the poster girl for curves & cheese, and that's great, but why does it matter what you prefer you're body to look like? The skinny girls are never agruing that skinny is the way to go. It's always the heavier ones who feel they need to prove a point that it's okay to be the weight they are.

Telling a girl "You're too skinny" is the EXACT same thing as telling a girl "You're too fat", I'm sorry, but it is. You don't know what each individual person's body issues are. You can't assume, "Oh, she must be happy with her body, she's a size 2, she doesn't have a gut, or back fat. I should tell her she's too thin." I don't understand why fat people get a pass with this? I have many, MANY friends who hate that they don't have curves, hate that they are flat chested, hate that they have no ass, and HATE when people tell them "Honey, you're too skinny." But it's okay to tell someone they are too thin, why? Because being thin is more socially acceptable?

So..in conclusion my loud mouth, protesting, curvey girls, if you have to keep putting down the Calista Flockhart community, in order to prove that it's ok to have extra padding, I wish you no luck in beating your In-N-Out for breakfast habit.

S

Just sayin..

2012-01-16T01:17:00.000-08:00

If you're going to bite off more than you can CHEW, at least keep your mouth shut.

Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to ignore everyone for a whole week.

He who complains the most about wanting to be in a relationship, is having casual sex with the most people.

Remember, only children can get away with making empty threats. #IMRUNNINGAWAYMOMMY

Don't make decisions when you're mad.

Never trust someone who always has a new best friend/new group of friends.

Learn from your mistakes. Don't repeat them and expect people to feel sorry for you.

Wouldn't it be nice if you could click "HIDE this person" (in real life) like you can on Facebook.

To those wanting to follow in Peter Pan's footsteps: Weho isn't Neverland.

Repeating something that YOU think is funny, over and over and over and over, isn't funny to anyone else.

Fake people always complain about how "fake" everyone is.

Don't put the rope around your neck and ask everyone else "Wait, what's going on!?"

I've said it before, I'll say it again: AMAZEBALLS is the stupidest, most unfunny, makes no sense word I have ever heard.

Gays aren't known for being in relationships. Lesbians are.

Interested in a boy your friend has dated? You a hoe.

Life is too short to settle.

Unfollow Perez Hilton on Twitter. SO peaceful.

Never let a boy break up with you. YOU break up with him.

Maintaining several life long friendships speaks volumes about the person you are.

You're not better than someone because you tell yourself that you are.

Lauren Conrad can do anything.

Is it just me or is it always the same people who say "New exciting things coming up!" Year after year after year? WHERE ARE THESE "EXCITING" NEW THINGS, people!? How bout you don't say it til the week of, k?

No one who is actually famous, refers to themself as famous.

The Kardashians officially OWN reality TV.

If you have to act like you're SUPER happy online, you're usually not.

Why is it always the super judgemental people who's world always falls apart?

I'm voting for Mitt Romney.

Quote of the Day

2011-10-07T01:50:00.000-07:00

"I promise that you gon' want me back, when your world falls apart... like shattered glass."

Mas

2011-10-05T01:46:00.000-07:00

An evil heart always shines through.

Is it a rule that if you are gay with a ripped body, you HAVE to be a Gogo Dancer or model for local photographers for no reason in your underwear?

Don't ABUSE the words "I'm sorry"

Demi Lovato's "Cutter Comeback" happened suspiciously quick. *cough*publicitystunt*cough - Cutter? Cut the bo' shit.

KNOW when you're being annoying.

One of the best things in the world is seeing proof of making the right decision.

"Letting go" and "giving up" are two different things.

The only people who should be completely dependant upon others, is children. Not grown ups.

Don't always rely on karma - she does her best...but what goes around, doesn't ALWAYS come around. Sometimes you have to help.

Don't challenge Satan unless you're Jesus.

Give thanks to the idiots in your life - they help you the most.

Treat others the way you'd want them to treat your little brother or sister.

Treat evil people the way you'd want Charles Manson to treat them.

If you're confident in what you believe in, BELIEVE in it. Don't feel you always have to prove why you're right.

If there's no tape and no pictures...no one can prove you're not a virgin. I am.

You'll never be someones idol, if you just dress up and act like yours.

When every friendship you have, has problems, it's you. Don't ask why the bridge is on fire, when you're the one running from it and holding the matches.

Never let a boy know you know you're turning him on.

After 25...when your standards (lookswise) start to go down...FIGHT them! Fight hard.

You don't need to be a detective to get a clue.

I don't understand when the DUI calls the License 'drunk'

People can only take from you, what you let them take from you.

Good things can't come until you let bad things go.

People don't make you popular, you make yourself popular.

Listen.

I'm just sayin..

2011-09-30T01:51:00.001-07:00

If you have something negtive to say about someone, you don't HAVE to say it to their "face", unless you actually care about them.

I've probably said this before, but... liking music from the 60's and having a very loud opinion about art and the world, DOESN'T make you "SOO unique" and an
"individual", any more than liking Britney Spears and LIVING for 'The Bachelor' does.

You can make yourself believe anything you want to. Have you ever heard of Brandon Hilton? No? You haven't? Well...He's "beautiful", "successfull", and "wildly popular."

Not everyone wants to pay attention to the problems in this world...and that's okay.

EVERYONE has said a racist'ish thing before. Don't deny this.

Don't be upset when people talk shit about you, if you talk shit about people. End of story.

If life is better to you when you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, you need to make some REAL friends.

You CAN be religious when you're gay. You can also be a Republican.

Don't document yourself being concieted. You'll look back after some time and realize how embarrassing and full of shit you were.

If you have just gotten out of a bad break up....DELETE DELETE DELETE. Delete from your phone. Delete from your Facebook. Delete from your life. You'll never get over it if you do not begin with that.

Don't give a boy sex and then be mad when he doesn't want to get to know you. Your fault.

After 2009 Only fat people are allowed to do kissy face photos and get away with it. Ugh..so cute.

Pre 2004 - working at Hollister or Abercrombie, meant you were attractive. 2005 and beyond, means your hispanic. #noracism #justsayin #isitjustme? #yaseenthat?

Don't share secrets with people who don't share secrets with you.

Sometimes the people you like the least, are the ones you get along with the best.

Don't act as though your education makes you better than someone, unless you are actually using it. "Hi, may I start you a dressing room With my hundred thousand dollar degree?"

Fresh out of the closet gays are like "new" vampires, they're fuckin stupid and have no self control.

I miss when Zac Efron was pretty... Not handsome.

Sometimes it's best to stick to your 'goodbye's'.

Don't give people attention unless they give it back.

Tell it like it is, but with a cherry on top.

Gay people believe anyone that they want to be gay is actually gay.

Look 21. Act 25.

Thank you.

Thoughts, Opinions, Advice.

2011-08-22T14:11:00.000-07:00

I've never understood the girls who hate on blonde, skinny, tan girls. You claim they're such bitches, talk so much shit and are so fake, but how is that proving you're not, when you are doing exactly what you think they are doing to you? You're the same. Only pale with dark hair.

It's so awkward seeing people start to crush on someone you know will never be interested in them. Trains about to crash. Ka-BOOM!

If someone only talks to you when they're drunk, they DON'T like you.

If you're going to unfollow me on Twitter, then you should delete me off Facebook. Don't understand recieveing FB posts from someone saying "Missing you so much, babe!" Then 2 days later, when you go to DM them something on Twitter, they ain't following you? Uhhh you were someone I followed out of obligation, and YOU unfollowed ME? #IsThis1997?

Quote someone when you steal a unique quote, that only THEY said. Espesh if they follow you on Twitter, and can see you trying to jock it as your own. #ComeOnNowBooBoo

Running away from your current life, doesn't guarentee you an AWESOME new one. You can tackle a problem or situation without having to hop on a plane.

As childish as it sounds, sometimes just deleting certain peoples numbers out of your phone can make you feel so great.

Talking about how you want, or are getting plastic surgery is officially played. Wanna be pretty? Then shut the fuck up and do what you need to do.

Being 21 when you're in your 30's is embarrassing, no matter how you spin it.

Be careful not to announce in writing on the internet, that you are "doing something", and then NOT. #ipittyWOO

If you can't be single for at least 6 months, after a break up, I fear for your late 20's. #whydoYOUneedTHEtitle? #CantYouJustDate?

STOP tweeting vague, attention seeking, desperate things. SPIT it out, or don't do it at all. OR at least have it make sense. No "dot dot dot"

I love your hair, but I thought I put that style in the trash, not the recycling.

Age doesn't determine where you should be, or what you should be doing.

EVERYONE is annoying to someone. When people constantly complain about how annoying "everyone" is, they need to stop, look in the mirror and say.. "I'm annoying, too."

A person isn't "better" than you, because they took the easy way out.

DON'T photoshop anything more than just a blemish off your face.

Campaigning for girls to be thick is just as annoying as campaigning for girls to be thin. BE. Whatever. YOU. Are.

Why does it matter what the next "Single" an artist releases, is? Uhh if the album is out, you really care enough about them releasing a specific song, all over a music video? #GARDEN #CLEAN #MAKEOVER #SHOP #FINDSOMETHINGBETTERTOCareAbout

Saying you choose to be gay, is the same as saying you choose to be straight. So we were all born A-Sexual and when 6th grade hit, we all had to hurry up and decide?
No. Officially done defending this. Shut the fuck up, or delete me from your life. For real.

It's funny how when you unfollow someone on Twitter, who constantly tries to convince you they are "famous", you never hear of them again. While you follow them, all you read is "Signing contracts!" "Headed to a signing" "Meeting with big network". Then you unfollow them, 6 months goes by and you never hear or see their name anywhere. Yeah... KQ...I'm talkin bout you, BooBoo. #IDGAD #IDGAF #youannoyin #provemewrong

Dont fight racism with racism.

Don't let people who are against gay marriage frustrate you. All gays shouldn't get so upset. Think about it.... in 2000 61.4% of California voted against it, while 38% were for it. In 2008 52.47% were against it, while 47.53% were for it. Think about where it will be in 2016? Let people continue to try and prevent the inevitable. Eventually there will be nothing they can do.

Don't let someone who doesn't exist in your life, affect you.

Don't tell your friends you can't do something, because you are broke. Then Tweet/Facebook "Check out my new shoes!" 2 days later. #ThatsWhyYouBroke #WeDontFeelBad

If you're going to be 2 faced: PULL IT OFF. Getting caught makes both your faces UGLY.

Sometimes the "REAL" you, is not what people want to get to know.

Don't ask me if this song is about you.

Most over asked question

2011-05-04T01:34:00.000-07:00

Why don't you live in LA?

Answer: Because I.Don't.Want.To.

If I did, I would.

I honestly get asked this question twice a week, and find it such a weird question.

Los Angeles is great. Much to do. A lot of great people. Etc.

However, almost my entire family lives within 5 minutes of me, and honestly..I'd rather be around them, than any person in LA.

I live in Claremont, a city in LA County, 27 miles east.

Next: Why would I live in LA?

I know, I know... "If you live in LA, everyone in the world is jealous of you."

BUUUUUT

A. I'm not trying to be in the entertainment industry. I'm not an actor, a model, a singer, a personal assistant, a screen writer, and so forth and so forth.

B. I don't need to live 5 miles from the nightlife. I can drive 30 minutes if I need or want to be somewhere. Or go to the Mexican Club in Upland. (JP)

C. True, the boys out here aren't great, but name 5 successfull gay relationships in the LA area? Or 5 gay men who are interested in living the same lifestyle as your average straight couple, i.e.: a committed relationship, work and family. And yes, I'm aware.."We aren't straight! NOH8!". But face it, majority of straight people grow up, get jobs, get married, start a family and get divorced.(jks) Majority of us gays......dance til we're 40?

Not trying to bash, just a Gay Morm, speakin his mind. I actually believe that homosexuals can have traditional values. People have this weird mindset about us, that we're all the same. We're not.

D. I'm not phased by Hollywood (obviously, if you know me.) I don't dream of moving there, stars in my eyes and expecting my life to be like 90210 or The Hills, and then waking up 30 years old and still thinking I'm 21 and that people in South Dakota, wish they were me.

A handful of my best friends live in LA. I love LA. I love parties, I love Lindsay, I love shopping. I just wish people would understand why a person wouldn't want to live there. It takes a STRONG person to move to LA and not change for the worse. I mean....look what happened to Mischa. Imagine what could happen to a 'reality tv' has been? Danger.

P.S. Why don't you live in New York?

Love always, Your Big Sister,
Stephen

They're SO perfect, but...

2011-05-03T02:50:00.000-07:00

Do you ever think you've met the PERFECT guy but there is just one thing about him you wish you could change? I feel like that is always the case for me.

It's always...

He's perfect for me...but:

He's proud of doing drugs.
His toe nails are too long.
He drinks too much.
He's a pot head.
He doesn't have a job.
He's 31 and lives with his parents.
He decides to send a naked picture before we even went on a date, and I did not like what I saw.
He goes out on Monday night?
He farts infront of me.
He doesn't have a drivers liscense.
He's had 14 boyfriends and is only 25.
He's allergic to cats or dogs.
He breathes really loud thru his nostrils when he eats.
He has too many lesbian friends.
He hangs with all the gays that hate me.
He smokes cigarrettes.
His legs and arms are covered in tattoos.
His fingers are too feminine.
He doesn't understand my sense of humor.
He thinks he is "straight" acting, when he is not.
He wears thong underwear.
He immediately takes his shirt off when he enters a club.
He thinks Twilight is "stupid"
He clings on to me like a barnacle on a whale's ass.
He called me "babe" or "baby" before he knew I spelled my name with a 'PH' instead of a 'V'.
He cries more than he laughs.
He only talks about Lady Gaga.
He says "gurrrrl"
He says "FML" 5 times a day. Shut the fuck up with that phrase.
He has a skinny....

Yeah, I'm Chandler Bing.

Relationship & Dating DON'Ts

2011-05-02T01:55:00.000-07:00

Don't ever let a boy make you get to the point where you deprive yourself of what matters most in life: Food.

Don't be afraid to let someone go, who wants to let you go.

Don't be afraid to be alone. Embrace it. Amazing things happen when you do what's best for you.

Don't tell your closest friends "We're doing really good." When you're miserable.

Don't drink your way thru a break up. Face it. Tackle it. Light it on fire. Then sip your vodka.

If you break up and get back together immediately and just put a band aid on your relationship and act as though everything is A-ok, you're doomed. Band-aids fall off.

Don't focus so much of your time on trying to find a relationship. You don't need one to survive.

Don't stress over every date you go on with someone and wonder if it's going to lead to more.

If someone breaks up with you and then wants you back when you start to move on... keep movin.

Don't feel you should be with someone just because you are a certain age.

Don't be afraid of waiting for Mr/Mrs Right. They exist.

Don't use someone because you can't be your own person.

Don't think you're life is over if your boyfriend or girlfriend leaves you (especially if you live with them or have been together years) It's excruciatingly painful, and so hard, and sometimes takes months to move past. But you will get over it. Being in that position before taught me so much, and I learned many things from it, and am SO thankful for that relationship and situation.

Don't forget you can TTYN a boy without giving an explanation.

Don't forget...most of these are repeated twice. Just kinda reworded.

S

I quit The View

2011-05-01T15:44:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else besides me ever notice the racism (Yes, I said it..RACISM) that spews from Whoopi Goldberg & Sherri Shepherd's mouths on The View? For SOOO long I have ignored it, but I'm done with that show. For months I have heard them say things like "You don't mess with a strong black woman" or "He doesn't understand that she is a confident black woman." What does "BLACK" have to do with it? There are confident, strong women in EVERY race! Regardless of the reputation each race has, throwing your skin color around sounds ignorant. If Barbara Walters said "That woman is a strong independant white woman" Whoopi and Sherri's heads would pop off! Why is it okay for them to constantly say things like "Black this" or "black that"? No one should be speaking that way about any race.

The thing that did it for me was this past Friday's episode, when they were recapping the Royal Wedding and Sherri Shepherd says...."We were like "Where are the black people?" It's like "Where's Waldo?" We found em, they had one little black child in the choir, but where's the black people at this wedding? (video pops on showing where several black people are sitting.) Oh there they are, they're all segregated, but they're in the front. So we have our Rosa Parks moment, I don't know why they put all the black people over here, but they're in the front of the wedding. I ain't complainin, cause they in the front."

Who goes to a wedding or event looking for a specific race? That's the most racist thing I've ever heard. I've never walked in somewhere and made sure that there are white people there, let alone that they have the best seat? Um...?

If it had been a white person complaining about this for 3 minutes, it would have been complained about EVERYWHERE. I do not understand why people like Sherri Shepherd and Whoopi Goldberg get away with this? No race has anything to prove anymore. This is 2011. The President of the United States is black, for goodness sakes. Most people have moved on, and chosen not to see skin color. I understand that some still have issues, but clearly the ratio is in favor of the fact that we are all equal.

SHERRI: You would NOT be okay with people asking you "Where are the white people at?" at your wedding, or saying "I'm just glad the white people are sitting in the front." Grow the fuck up. You sound racist, any which way you spin it. You shouldn't be thinking that way. No one should.

Advice: Part 4

2011-04-28T01:42:00.001-07:00

Never admit that you're good looking.

Always pick a side when 2 of your friends are fighting, but repeat out loud to the one whos side you didn't take, "I'm not taking anyones side."

If you are so skinny, that it looks like your skin is sucking your bones, dont Twit pic or Facebook shirtless photos. Michael Jackson passed away, ain't nobody wanna see that.

Don't make your boyfriend your entire life and then be surprised when he dumps you and your friends want nothing to do with you.

Boys: Never admit that you wear make-up.

It doesn't count unless you hit the finish line.

Don't make your sexual orientation your whole life.

Facebook is not MySpace. No more dressing up, taking 50 pictures of yourself twice a week, and then uploading them.

Purposely ignoring someone in hopes that they think you are really busy and popular, makes you a loser. A big one.

If you're a club promoter and you send people invites to your event every week, and they never come, STOP sending them invites. Goodness. I'm NOT coming to the Tranny Show every Tuesday. "I work." - Vicki Gunvalson

Don't assume everyone eats sushi.

YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE YOUR NOH8 PHOTO. I'm sorry, but those photos make human beings look like dead Egyptians. I have one. I support gay marriage and blah blah blah. Don't get me wrong, I wish my eyes were that blue, my skin was that freckleless, and my arms were that muscular, but they're not. KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE. It's not hard. You have a camera on your phone and a mirror in your bathroom.

Don't complain that you can't meet a decent guy to date, whilst you are screwing anyone willing. You can't meet a decent guy, if you AREN'T a decent guy. THINK.

Don't listen to celebrities who tell you "You're dreams will come true! Never give up on your dreams." They say that because THEIR dreams came true. Thousands of peoples dream is to be like Lady Gaga, do we have room for 5,000 people like her? No. Live your life as though all your dreams are going to come true, but be smart, realistic and persistant. Dreams change.

If you get offended once a day, seek a therapist.

Don't rush down the altar with just anyone, because you're approacing 30. You'll end up alone and wishing you'd have waited for the right person.

Don't feel bad when straight people give you weird looks in public. Be happy that you make them feel scared and insecure. That's power.

Everyone is a hypocrit. Even me.

Don't pretend to be someone you're not when you first meet someone. Show your true colors. Save some time.

Don't expect people to feel bad for you when you have to suffer that consequences of your choices.

If you find Oprah really, really annoying...it's ok.
God, she's so annoying.

It's okay if no one "gets" you, as long as you do.

It's okay if you secretly wish your boyfriend was as hot as his brother.

It's only okay to still say "I was born this way.", if you are being sarcastic.

Don't judge a person by the way they look, judge them based on who they follow on Twitter. I'm serious...you can tell if someone is a slut, in the closet, a cheater, etc. Following Tiger Woods, Charlie Sheen and Tony Parker, means something.

Gays don't go to hell, they go to Tiger Heat.

Thank you.

Questions

2011-01-23T00:27:00.001-08:00

Why do people say that gays can't get married? I see gay men married to women, every day.

Why do people constantly retweet compliments (on Twitter)? If you have to show off THAT much, the compliment given to you, by that person, probably isn't true. Sorry.

What do porn stars plan on doing when they are 40?

Why do reality stars talk about themselves as though they are going to be HUGE forever? Um, hi.."The Hills" was one of the most popular docu-drama-reality shows, ever, and now Whitney Port is doing skin care commercials, and Heidi Montag can barely make a 2 inch picture in Us Weekly. You'll fade away, baby. Enjoy and appreciate your moment, treat people well, and save some money.

Why do gays that look straight think that they are above gays that look gay?

Why has everyone already made me hate Lady Gaga's new song, "Born this way", before it has even been released? I get it....you were "born this way"...saying it once is enough. Shut the fuck up.

Why do people think pretending to be in to Jesus, is still funny? Yeah, hi..we started doing that in 2008. Go read my old Myspace blog.
NEXT.

Why am I starting to find "Glee", soo annoying?

Why don't my friends with college degrees, use them?

Why have i accumulated soo many secrets, since Jan 1st?

Thank you.

Thank you, 90210

2010-11-04T12:26:00.000-07:00

Can I just say that I LOVE the gay storyline on 90210 involving Teddy and his special friend. At first I didn't think I was going to, but I think the reason I do is because they aren't making his storyline be the stereotypical Gay character, like what they make most gays be on TV.

For example: Kurt on Glee. Love his character to death, but lets be honest, not every single homosexual is obsessed with Versace and has 300 skin care products. That is the total stereotypical Gay character, which I think is so overplayed and stupid. I have never understood why TV must over do it, just so we KNOW they are the "gay one."

"My moisturizer sent in from monkeys in the jungle." "You just spilled your coffee on my $2,000 designer coat, shipped to me from Mr. Marc Jacobs himself."

Come on.

90210: You got it right... in showing that not all gays are what TV portrays us to be. Teddy isn't uber flamboyant, neither is his "special" friend. I feel like more gay teens can relate to THIS one than most others. Not saying that there aren't many out and proud flambouyant 16 year olds out there, but I'd say the majority of us at 16 weren't wearing lip gloss to school and walking thru the halls with our hand on our hip. We were scared and hiding and gradually becoming comfortable with these feelings we were trying to come to terms with.

Thank you, 90210, for keeping it real and showing that gays are just like straight people...we're all different.

Some Advice - Part 3

2010-10-28T12:54:00.000-07:00

Never say "I wanna be a naughty boy." that sounds disgusting.

Don't date anyone who doesn't take a shower daily.

Bi polar people should be forced to date eachother.

If you want to hurt someone, violence is not the answer. Words are.

Girls, and technically boys: embrace your muffin top, wearing shirts that hide it are going to put you in a very awkward position when you're "boy" sees you take your shirt off for the first time.

If you're a xerox'ed version, you'll never be the hottest.

Unless your handicapped you should always stand on your own two feet and not expect to stand on someone elses.

clip. your. toe. nails.

If you are trying to be famous - have a back up plan. Also: Be realistic about what you are trying to do. THAT will get you further and help you the most. Always remember there are hundreds of thousands of other gorgeous men and women trying to do exactly what you are. Keep your head on straight AND never think you're famous until you're on the cover of US Weekly more than once.

If you get yourself in to a situation that costs you a lot of money, don't bitch and complain like it's some one else's fault, take responsiblity for your actions. Condom forgetting, slut.

You'll never look like yourself if you're always trying to look like someone else.

If you always date men for money, you'll always end up single, lonely, broke and wrinkly.

If you're closer to 30 than you are to 20, the only person you should blame for your decisions is yourself.

If your friend is trying to brag that they are gonna be on a reality show, don't get jealous. More than half of those shows never even make it to the tv screen.

No matter how smart you think you are at 18....you're stll 18. When you're 25 you'll know you were stupid as shit at 18. I prom.

No boy will ever be perfect. They will always have something wrong with them.

If you're approaching your 30th birthday, you should have a SHIRT on in your Facebook profile picture.

Having a "close" relationship with God, does not make you better than anybody.

It gets better?

Things I've learned this week

2010-10-20T01:41:00.000-07:00

I learned that when a boy I like, talks passionately about Jesus and his "faith", I stop liking them instantly? -I totally believe in Jesus and have faith, but hearing someone give a sermon about their passion for Jesus over the telephone left a vomit taste in my mouth.

I learned that people who say they are struggling to pay their bills are the people who spend money on things like a coin seperator.

I learned that some 32 year olds think they are still 14.

I learned that god doesn't give with 2 hands to certain people on purpose.

I learned that girl friends only really need you when they don't have a boyfriend.

I learned that some gay men with 4 inch receeding hairlines think they can make you feel insecure about the fact that you wear bronzer. They can't.

I learned that having blonde hair can even make Freddy Kruger feel popular.

I REALIZED that I'll never end up with any of my ex boyfriends.

I learned that some people will stop being your friend to go hang out with geeks so that they can feel superior, like they are Queen Bee.

I REAIZED I don't miss any of the people I'm not friends with anymore.

I learned that overweight people who laugh at gay people in public, think that they are skinny.

and I learned that I like when a boy sends things like this to my phone.

18 forever

2010-10-19T01:04:00.000-07:00

When I was 18 I had several friends who were 25. Now I'm 25 and they are 32 and they are still doing the same thing they were doing at 25 and I am still doing the same thing I was doing at 18: Being single & clubbing/bar hopping. When I am out I see them and they see me. It's like hitting the fast forward button from 2003 to 2010 and seeing the exact same picture: Me stumbling out of Fiesta Cantina and them walking in.

"I don't want to be like Cynthia."

Why does 85% of our kind have the Peter Pan syndrome? Why can't we give up the gay scene? Why do we not want to settle down? Why does 25 mean 19 to us?

My older brothers did their "thang" in their early twenties. They partied. They went to clubs and bars, and now they are 28 and 31, they have wives, children and great jobs. Same thing goes for my cousins, my straight friends, etc. I'm not saying EVERY.SINGLE.ONE of them is responsible, working and married with children, BUT the majoriy are. In GAY WORLD: the majority aren't.

If you would have asked me when I was 18 if I would be single, tanning, blonding and hittin up a gay bar once or twice a week when I'm 25...I would have laughed my tight teen skin in your face. But yet...here I am.

The funniest part is that I did the "grown up" relationship at 19, 20, and 21? Lived with a boyfriend. Had a joint bank account. Had a COSTCO membership? 4 joint pets together. Weekends consisted of house decoration shopping, going to the movies, cleaning, dinners and kinky sex. (Thank You.)
Why were TWO 19 year olds able to do that but two men in their mid-late twenties can't? I'm not saying that falling in love and having a family is what life is all about for every gay man, I'm saying I personally don't want to be that 40 year old single, gay Uncle with a bad brow lift who is scaring all the children at the family get-togethers.

I am SO not the only one who thinks this. All my gay friends are single. Half of them are out working on their STDs (what? you are.) NONE of them can find a "decent guy". Are we all just selfish, stuck up, un-desirable bitches? OR is something wrong in the brain of the California Gay Man?

Jesus take the wheel.

S

Some Advice - Part 2

2010-09-13T00:42:00.000-07:00

Never acknowledge people who dislike you...because then they know that you know they exist

If you send a boy a text picture that reveals your breasts and he doesn't respond with "DAMN"
Stop talking to him.

Tell yourself to "Shut the f*ck up." at least once a week.

Always keep your blackmail gun fully loaded.

If a boy can't access Twitter and/or Facebook via his mobile device: he isn't going to pay for dinner.

If someone tells you that you wear a certain color "TOO MUCH": Wear it more.

If you bump into an aquiantance when you are out and feel like they are talking shit about you after you walk away: Talk shit about them. Insult their hair, skin, somethin. It'll make you feel a little bit better.

People who pretend to know it all: know the least.

If you want "work out" motivation: Print out a picture of someone you hate whom has a HOT body and look at it when you are feeling lazy.

Get a job.

Never tell anyone ALL of your secrets. It's good to keep a couple just for yourself.

People will say anything to you to try and get what they want.

Rubbing vaseline on your pectorals before you go out will make them look bigger.

Don't be afraid to put your friends up for discussion and then TTYN them.

Be nice to everyone. You never know when they are going to become BETTER than you. Even if they are ugly.

If you're always the "other woman" it means you aren't smart or hot enough to be number 1.

NEVER dye your eye brows unless you have a vagina.

If a friend asks you for money and you don't give it to them AND then they stop talking to you: They were NEVER really your friend. Bitch.

Teeth can make or break you.

Life is NOT a reality show unless a camera crew and producer are following you.

Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take. It's mesured by the amount of hairstyles you've been willing to try.

Get ugly once a year. I'm serious.

WEHO is only a competition if you're insecure.

If you're going to say "So many big things coming up for me!" DELIVER.

Always know what number you are on a scale of 1 to 10.

Thank you.

Questions, Facts, Opinions

2010-09-01T02:15:00.000-07:00

1. What is up with everyones self proclaimed fame? I understand that WE are our own biggest fans but seriously early 20's wannabes of Southern California: SHOW PROOF. Having some twitter followers, facebook fans, etc. does not mean you are the new fucking Britney Spears. ANY ONE CAN DO THAT. So when I see things like "I love my fans!" "Can't wait for my tour!" "God! I can't even go out without being hounded!"

Um. I'm callng it: BULL. Shit. I see y'all "up in tha club" and no one cares. Don't create a false "illusion" hoping nerds in middle America are falling for it. Get on the radio. Be on the big screen. Then then then we will think you're famous. But self proclaimed fame is like a 4 year old playing dress up as a princess...it's make believe.

2. Always be nice to people so that they will hate you.

3. Fighting doesn't solve anything...unless some one is doing your fighting for you.

4. Boys who let themselves grow extra hairy and pine over their ex boyfriend who doesn't want them and are screwing anything with testicals are lame and desperate. Especially when the hairy boy is a complete dick head to every and any one who talks to the (on a scale of 1 to 10) 3 boyfriend. Shave, move on and close your mouth in pictures. You look like a one year old when he's thirsty.

5. Have you ever noticed that people who JUDGE people about certain situations ALWAYS end up in that situation? AKA "Omg you cheated on your boyfriend!" "Oh my god you got a DUI! I would NEVER drink and drive!" "I can't believe how much weight she has gained.""You should really go to college so you can make something of yourself."

That quoted talk-talky person will most likely end up FAT with a DUI, unemployed and single because she cheated on her boyfriend. Go figure. Horny.

6. Having blonde hair isn't for everyone. Just because it is/was "SUMMER!" doesn't mean you go blonde. We don't disrepect YOU and go poop brown in the winter. I'm all for leaving the dark side and going to the hi-LIGHTED. HOWEVER: If you have to pick up your face from sagging to your knees, can't seem to get Pro-Active to work just right and your hair is the color of pee....LEAVE. You can't be in the Sunshine group.

7. Why do people with HOT bodies BUT 'hit by a truck' looking faces act like the world is their oyster? Like they are drop dead gorgeous? Um..your BODY is. Your face isn't and I am a FIRM believer in "You are only a 10 if you could be hot if your chest/arms/legs deflated". Any one can work out and better their body BUT a face is a blessing. Face IS important. I promise. I mean...it's back up if you ever have mono or catch annorexia.

8. Why do most XL girls talk so vulgar and gross and bitchy. I over heard this larger girl I know just ranting on about sex and "FUCKING" and partying and boys all over her and girls "wanna be me" and I wondered to myself "Is she only talking like that because she thinks that how us ~~thin girls~~ thinner people speak? And she thinks this is her fitting in?"

We don't.

Ugh I'm not even gonna go in to further detail. Just...like...don't talk that way hun-knee.

9. How come some people have really small teeth?

10. That video of those gays boys dancing around to "Peacock" by Katy Perry RUINED me ever being able to like that song. I SO wish I would have heard the song before I saw the video because NOW all I see in my mind when I hear it is mis-proportioned boy chests and boy-make-up. Thanks a lot. I could have liked that song. Thank god for Taylor Swift. No one wants to make videos to her songs.

11. I made out with a boy who has his own TV show last month. I'm only bragging because if you knew who it was you'd LOL and say "He's gay?"

12. Why would you EVER friend request some one on Facebook and THEN give them a dirty look and laugh at them in WeHo? Yeah you crooked tooth, zits on your thighs little bitch..I'm talking about you.

13. I'm back.

(F.Y.I.'s: I don't know what "World is you oyster" even means and I am aware that you can not catch annorexia.)

Dear Diary

2010-07-20T22:44:00.000-07:00

Dear Diary,

I want to make you some promises.

I promise I won't go to bars and clubs after my 30th birthday. No exceptions. I promise I'll never use the phrase "FML" or say "Oh my god! My life is so dramatic! I should have my own reality show." I promise I'll never think I'm famous. I promise never to wake up in a strangers bed. I promise to stay disgusted by the things I never want to become. I promise to call people who only date one race "stupid" even though that's being a hypocrite. I promise that I don't fucking care if I spelled a word wrong. I promise to always make fun of myself before someone can make fun of me. I promise I'll never be so desperate for attention that I take my shirt off at a club and gaze around to see who's staring at my tits. I promise I'll never pierce anything or get a tattoo. I promise from now on I'll only work out cause I want to and not because I want to catch someones eye. I promise I'll lie if I have to or want to. I promise I'll roll my eyes on the inside when someone is annoying me and then say what I really think 5 minutes later...when they're gone. That's polite. I promise I'll always look my age or younger. I promise I'll never go further than kissing with a gay guy unless I know his birthdate, middle name, favorite color, relationship history, kind of car, parents names, fav tanning salon location, and shoe size. I promise I won't make fun of muscle head bottoms anymore. It's not their fault. I promise I'll start putting the pics I take with my heavier friends up on my Facebook. I promise I won't call 911 and tell on people I hate, whom I know are driving drunk and give the 911 operator their liscense plate number and location ...anymore. I promise I won't grow old and alone drinking alcohol at clubs. I promise I'll always mow my lawn.

Thank you.

Oh...and I promise I'll tell people who complain or are offended about anything I say or write "It's not my fault that reading this is like looking in the mirror for you. You're mad at yourself, not me. So go read something else then. You bored, fucking idiot."

Most Popular Tank Top of the Summer

2010-07-20T14:02:00.000-07:00

I've seen it on literally everyone. It's super cute. However...my only word of advice would be: Don't wear it out to a club/bar because 2 other people WILL be wearing it. Actually...that goes for ANY H&M tank.

Horny.

Some Advice

2010-07-16T02:44:00.000-07:00

If a closeted gay threatens u: Find out their parents information and tell them their son is gay.

Never trust someone who says they know a celebrity within the 1st five seconds of meeting them.

If a girl punches you in the face. Punch her back. Sorry, I don't believe in that nonsense "Girls can hit guys" shit. That's sexist.

Never be the booty call, be the booty caller.

Don't role play. You should already be someones fantasy.

Being paranoid makes u unpopular.

Always put yourself on a pedestal, but pretend to be Mother Teresa.

Don't let strangers know what your capable of. When your ready to pull the rug out from under their feet they'll never see it comin.

Tell everyone they were the best you ever had.

Pencils should not be in pants. So if you have anything in your pants that resembles a pencil or is SHARP...good luck.

If you meet a boy off the internet & he's heavier in person. BREAK LOOSE!

Never trust a bottom that looks like a top.

Always TAG hot guy friends in your Facebook photos. It irritates people if you don't. Trust me.

Don't text 911. It doesn't work. I found out.

If a guy tells you you're beautiful: he has a heart.

If you try and steal someones hairstyle make sure you rock it better than they do. Otherwise you just lookin' a copycat mess.

Money can buy you happiness.

If your boyfriend constantly is paranoid that you are cheating on him: HE IS CHEATING ON YOU. Be it sex or sexting. I promise you that.

If a boy constantly has dirty fingernails he doesn't trim his bush.

Trim your arm pit hair.

Don't go number 2 on a first date. That's disgusting.

If you have a bad friend stab 'em in the back before they can stab you.

Don't drink and drive.

I don't care how many MIMOSAS you've had...If you have unprotected sex and get an STD and blame it on the fact that you couldn't say no to mas alcohol: You deserved it.

Never let anyone know how much you hate them. Smile.

Always play the victim.

Thank you.
Stephen

Daniel, Kitties, Puppy and I are moving!

2010-07-16T02:31:00.000-07:00

Daniel and I are moving in to a new condo in Claremont, August 1st! It's a really cute place and very spacious! AND the best part is my brother Tyler, his wife Olivia and my two nephews Parker and Chase are my next door neighbors! SO excited!

The only pic I took on my phone:

Paris BFF in the UK

2010-07-16T02:26:00.000-07:00

My season of BFF started in The United Kingdom Wednesday Night! It airs every Wednesday at 8pm on iTV2! Thanks to everyone who sent me tweets and messages about the first episode!Loves it! xo

6 sentences to six different people

2010-07-16T02:09:00.000-07:00

Do you know which one is about you?

1. Who's laughing now? Loser.

2. You make me want to compromise my morals.

3. They're lying to you just because you look good.

4. Now that we aren't friends anymore... I don't see what I ever liked about you to begin with.

5. I'm keeping our secret. I promise.

6. Who looks back at you when you look in the mirror? I don't understand what you're thinking.

S

50 things I'm looking for in a boy

2010-07-14T02:55:00.000-07:00

While bored at work I wrote a list of what the ideal boy for me would be like:

1. Doesn't smoke.
2. Doesn't do drugs.
3. Has a job.
4. Sexy.
5. Dorky hot.
6. LIGHT drinker.
7. Pushes someone if they call you a slut.
8. Doesn't care about designer stuff.
9. Has cute nipples. I hate flapjacks.
10. Shaves his feet.
11. Doesn't care about celebrity gossip.
12. Likes animals.
13. Has a car.
14. Hasn't had a dui.
15. Not originally from LA.
16. Chews with his mouth shut.
17. Doesn't clean his dishes RIGHT after he is done using them.
18. Isn't a cheater.
19. Doesn't like to roleplay.
20. Has a brain.
21. Lies once in a while about little things. (we're all human)
22. Believes in god.
23. Isn't anti social with family.
24. Doesn't make me split the dinner check with him on my birthday.
25. Rough.
26. Knows what to do if something in my car isn't working.
27. Gets along with Daniel. Oui.
28. Doesn't ask "When are we partying with Paris?"
29. Doesn't care that I don't care about politics, history, or world issues.
30. Doesn't have a NOH8 picture. (yes, i have one)
31. Thinks drag queens over 30 are extremely embarrassing.
32. Doesn't have "298 mutual friends in common" with me on Facebook.
33. Hasn't kissed someone I know.
34. Owns NOTHING rainbow.
35. Doesn't attend every single Gay Pride. (Come on...1 or 2 a year is fine.)
36. I guess... homophobic? -Just kidding.
37. Only cusses when he's mad or drunk.
38. Classy.
39. Understands my sense of humor.
40. Loves scotch tape but hates duct tape.
41. Likes The Golden Girls.
42. Knows what the show Popular is.
43. Can count the number of people he has slept with on one hand. (Like me.)
44. Likes vodka over tequila.
45. Doesn't own freaky underwear.
46. Sings in the car without being embarrassed.
47. Likes tanning.
48. Isn't jealous.
49. Doesn't have a lesbian best friend. (They hate me. NOH8)
50. Circumsized.

Thank you.

"Oh and as long as his you know what isn't crooked. I really hate that."

That's good.

SH

I'm just sayin...

2010-07-05T00:48:00.000-07:00

1. I love when twink bottoms make out with eachother infront of a group of people and act as though it's as hot as two girls kissing. Twinkies: Although you think you look like two teen sorority sisters, you don't. It's not hot. Neither is your lip gloss or concave chest. Thank you.

2. I feel bad for people who jock something funny that someone else said and then say it themselves like they own it? Um, if you have to repeat others material like you said it to try and make people think you are funny, you're not.

3. HEY closeted homo's: Word of advice...On your facebook when you leave the "INTERESTED IN:" part, blank: YOU'RE GAY. If you want people to think you're straight & you are THAT scared of coming out of the closet, just put WOMEN. You look gayer than me when you leave it blank. I'm serious.

4. ATTN EVERYONE: If every picture of yourself that you put online is just of ur face: you. are. hiding. something.

5. Im sorry, but HUGE muscular bottoms are sick, sick. Spin it how u want, quote me, sick. It's they who arise very disturbing images in my head.

(Everyone under 18 or Religious and over 30: If you are confused with this one...Google "gay bottom")

6. ANYONE can be on a Reality Show. Remember that next time you are ignoring people and acting as though you are better than them. You attention hungry, grasping on to your last second, pedestal sitting, ass holes.

7. You can't help it if your eyes are spaced really far apart, but you dont get to be a holier than though, asshole to people (just because you have a muscular upper body) if they are. Bert & Ernie lookin' fool.

8. Don't lift your shirt up in a picture if your stomach looks like its melting. End of story.

9. Why is the un-hot person always tagged in photos on Facebook, but the hot one isnt? So rude.

10. Just because you think you look "soo straight" doesn't make you hot or give you the right to think you're not "embarrassing looking." Anyone can throw on a volcom hat, not shave for three days and wear Quicksilver sandals, hon. #TRUTH
11. I don't think using the fact that your fat to be funny is funny. That's extremely played out.

12. Just because you're attractive doesn't mean the sky is the limit.

13. If you treat less attractive people differently...I sure hope a boat accident involving a burn on your face, isn't in your future. #ItHappenedTOsomeoneIknow.

14. If you're gonna throw college in peoples faces: make sure u make more money than they do. Knowing the date World War II started doesn't make you as much money as knowing how to manipulate someone just by licking the left side of your upper lip.

We're all entilted to our own opinions. For example...you could say "I can't stand blonde idiots who go on reality shows to win friendships and blog about pet peeves all day."

See. Easy. Horny. Love.
S

Funniest Quote of the Weekend

2010-07-04T17:17:00.000-07:00

(Car Talk)
Me: Have you noticed lately that everyone is a bottom? Like...EVERYONE. Tall, fat, thin, hairy, masculine: bottoms, bottoms, bottoms. We need like..
Daniel: Bottom concentration camps?

June Confessions

2010-06-30T02:28:00.001-07:00

I worked out a LOT to get a certain boys attention. It worked.

On Saturday night at 4:30am I did something I have never done before. (No. It had nothing to do with drugs, alcohol or anything bad like that. I would never. )

Someone knows who Batman is.

I have the HUGEST crush.

I fake cried to my friends last weekend. I was upset and thought I needed to cry, but the tears didn't come out. So I cry-voiced. Random.

I have had 3 dreams about a random boy. I don't know why. He's gorge but I think he's only attracted to Mexicans. Whatever.

I kissed my ex boyfriend. No tounge.

I kissed my other ex boyfriend. With tounge.

I wore a Snooki amount of self tanner on Friday. It looked a mess.

I ignored your phone call. Twice.

I got someone in trouble by tattle-tailing and then listened to them complain to me about the "person" they though told on them. Wasn't me.

I french kissed a girl I work with and actually liked it.

(20 minutes later. Literally 20 mins later.)

I just got a text picture from the person I thought I have the hugest crush on. It was shirtless...

I don't have a crush anymore.

Stephen

BFF Habits

2010-06-28T23:52:00.000-07:00

"Check it. Make sure it's hot." Dancing on couches.

Can someone please disect a gay brain?

2010-06-28T22:52:00.001-07:00

So many situations lately (involving gay people) have left me saying "Are you kidding me?"

1. Constant hooking up. What happened to getting to know someone and EVENTUALLY getting in their pants? Why does everyone just want a TOY that you can play with for one day and then put back on the shelf? I understand perfectly clear that straight people hook up too. They hook up well. But the reason their people aren't constantly labeled as whores is because majority of women have class and are not easy. It's always the straight man convincing the women to get sexual, always the straight man who wants "it" before bed and it's always the woman who is "putting out".

You take a gay man (he of hornyville) and another gay man (he too resides in hornyville) BAM. They. must. get. off.

Yuck. I'm sorry, but just hooking up because you want to "get off" is fucking disgusting. I am better off in bed by myself. Trust you me. I feel people become desensitized to others feelings and lose respect for them when they constantly hook up. The other person stops being viewed as something worth anything and instead is looked at as todays dinner.

Keep going guys. But don't get mad at anyone but yourself in 15 years when your child (adopted from Africa) is asking you what's all over your lips.

2. Shady Snakes. I, like soooo many others believe that ex boyfriends are OFF limits to friends. I don't care if it was a 3 weeks, 3 month or 3 year relationship. It WAS a relationship. Friends should stay away if they want to remain just that. There are plenty of gay fish in the sea. Trying to hang out with/get attention from your friends ex boyfriend is shady and desperate.

I have had 3 relationships. I am 100% over 2 of them and 98% over the other 1. I could care less at the thought of any of them screwing anyone, kissing anyone, ANYTHING. But if a friend goes in to my recycling bin without asking me... OH.HELL.NO.GURL.I put that in the recycling for a reason. Just like recycling a coca-cola can, you don't expect your friend to come and try to put their mouth on it after you did. That's gross.

I would walk over broken glass barefoot for my good friends, and walk thru muddy GRASS for my so-so friends, but EVEN if you are a "grass" friend, left-overs are still off limits.

I don't "do" drama anymore. But honey,... you have received a very silent, but powerful: TTYN.

To every one else, TTYS.
Stephen

Funniest thing this Week

2010-06-25T03:12:00.000-07:00

(At Walgreens Photo Counter, picking up pictures.)
Photo Man: Last name?
Daniel: Stabile
Photo Man: Stabile?
Daniel: Yes, Stabile, with an S
Photo Man: Stab-eel?
Daniel: Yes, Stab, (casually says) Like I'LL STAB YOU.

SOOOO LOLs.

5 "Don't talk to that boy" Tips

2010-06-24T02:16:00.001-07:00

1. If a guy tells you he loves you, wants to take care of you, be with you, you're the "one" for him, etc. AND then tries to get you to be the twink whore in a 3some for him and his best friend: HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU. He doesn't respect you. Done. Move on ~~Stephen~~

2. If a guy sends you a message and says "I want to take you out sometime", and you write back and say "Aw, that'd be so much fun! I'd love that." AND THEN 2 weeks goes by and he messages you and says "Where ya been?"

FUCK. HIM. (Not literally)
I think that game where a boy tells you he wants to take you on a date and then ignores you and expects you to beg for the date, is SO incredibly retarded. If you have to play games, go play with 18 years olds. Thank you.

3. If a guy plays hard to get: GO GET SOMETHING ELSE.

The "hard to get" game is for Homosexuals Ages 18-21. The second them lines hit your face (*knocks on wood*) You don't get to play hard to get anymore. You're time is running out, your face is slowly (but surely) falling and you're wasting people's time if you think waiting a couple hours to text him back is going to make you appear extra cool and/or hot.

HUN-KNEE, do you know what a Gay Man is capable of doing in 2 hours in West Hollywood?

A lot.

4. If a guy with a 4 inch receeding hairline tells people he is "seeing you"-Shoot him.

I'm serious.

5. If a boy sends you dirty sext messages before he's even asked you out on a date, it's not going to work out. Period.

Ttys
Stephen

From the Mouths of Stephen & Daniel

2010-06-10T14:17:00.001-07:00

(Girl Chat)
Part 1
Me: What is it about this boy that makes him so ugly?
Daniel: I dunno, it's that face hunny.
Me: It's just...so, so ugly.

Part 2
Me: I do not want to be her friend! Trust me.
Daniel: It's coo, I'm not gonna sit here and tell you who you can and can't be friends with. I mean,.....you can tell me, but I'd never try and tell you.

Part 3
Me: Daniel...treat people the way YOU want to be treated.
Daniel: Psh, treat people the way YOU want to treat them.

(Las Vegas car ride)
Troy: This is the first time I've ever hung out with you guys outside of work.
Ashley: This is the first time we've ever gone on vacation together.
Daniel: (awkward silence)....This is the first time I've ever hung out with a black person?

(At A Club in Vegas)
Boy: What'd you do for your birthday this year?
Me: Kept it low key because I was in mourning.
Boy: Why, how old are you?
Me: I just turned 19 in March.

(Ashley eating Trailmix in the Hotel room)
Daniel: Trailmix is for people who accept that they're just white trash.

(Daniel telling me a story about a girl he works with)
Daniel: She was all "I'm so lucky! I'm so lucky!" and I'm like, "You're 200 pounds, YOU'RE NOT lucky."

(Car Girl Chat)
Me: Daniel, is the Hole a good kisser?
Daniel: If ya like kissin dogs.

Me: Daniel, how do you get errect for the Hole?
Daniel: I dunno, I just close my eyes and hope for the best.

(Talking about Ipads)
Daniel: We ain't gettin one, we're both like Ebony Scrooge.
Me: Ebony? You mean Ebenezer Scrooge?
Daniel: No, Ebony, she da black version.

(At House of Blues)
Daniel: What the hell are you doing talking to that kid Stephen!?
Me: I'm just flauntin' my sexuality, tryna' make his mouth water.

(In the car talking shit)
Daniel: They both look so fat. Oh wait....if there's a speaker in here we was just playin'.

(Writing a blog)
Me: Daniel what's a nice way of saying "I'm glad all the kids from high school are fat now."
Daniel: Just say it. There's no other way of saying it.....or you could say "I'm so glad you and I stayed thin while all the others got fat" wait no, that's the same.

Dating: What's that?

2010-05-13T01:33:00.000-07:00

Last week my friend asked me "Do you have any gay friends in relationships?" to which of course I replied with "Um....No."

(I couldn't think of any. Well...except for my last ex boyfriend but he's forever in a relationship.)

I found that extremely weird. In my day (18-21) ALL my gay friends did nothing but date boys. Everyone was constantly going on dates or was "talking" to someone or "exclusive" with someone. Now I feel like no one is. Why is that? Has the recession too hit the gay community and we feel we must cut back on dating and instead just fawk?

I don't think so. I liked the olden days. It was so much more fun. And I know it's not an AGE thing because I see those bottom faced 19 year olds running around Tiger Heat with condom wrapper stuck in their teeth. One on one dating is the last thing on their mind...THAT and hygiene.

Does no one date anymore? Does no one ask for someones number and then call them the next day and say "we should go to a movie?" THAT used to happen all the time? But now it seems the drill goes like this: Boy asks for your number, texts you the next day and tells you that last night was "crazy", then says "Let's meet up next time you go out". SOOO a week goes by, you meet up at The Abbey, his breath smells, he has freckles you DON'T remember and he wants you to come cuddle at his place (i.e. try 2 feed you his spaghetti & meatballs) That's so HIV.

What happened to going on traditional dates? Ya know...Dinner & a movie with the whole "I wonder if we are gonna hold hands? I wonder if we are gonna kiss before the nights over?" "I wonder if he can tell i rubbed vaseline on my chest to make me appear steamy looking?" I'm glad I dated like Jennifer Love Hewitt from 18 to 19 and then had a relationship like Bobby Brown & Whitney from 19 to 22. It was so fun. Granted there was some choking, I still had a blast.

But now everytime I have relationship convos with friends & ask why they prefer casual hook ups over commitments they always say the same thing "I'm focusing on my career!"

Really? Well your career has a lot of free time for West Hollywood, butt holes, Burger King and FREE TESTING clinics. Doesn't it? The excuses people come up with because they can't just come out and say "It's TWO-thousand-ten. I'm hot. I don't want to commit to one person because what if I like...go to Starbucks and there's a really hot guy there and then I can text one of my friends to come down and come up to me and pretend I'm famous so that the guy sees and finds me irresistable, cuz like..maybe he'll think I have connections to the lifestyle of the rich and famous and then he can come over to watch a movie and then we'll have sex, and then the next day I'll go to Fiesta Cantina and do it all over again. I can't commit. I need endless amounts of boy-sex with numerous amounts of people. Yum."

Why can't you just say that? Be honest son.

In conclusion: You should never be SHUT off to going on a date or being with one person. You don't have to be desperate and seek out a boyfriend. That's for people like ~~Jason Francescon~~...well you know who you are. (jk Jimmy)

If we were straight we'd be in relationships. However...men are horny. Thus you put man who likes man together and bam. Where them holes at?

Be careful because before you know it you gon' be that 37 year old that we all make fun of lurking around Weho in sweatpants. You know it too.

Thank you.

Thoughts, Opinions, & Quotes from a Blonde

2010-05-12T02:20:00.000-07:00

Most gay boys like boys who look like straight boys. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna get pale, not shave, throw on some volcom and get rid of my highlights for that boy to pant over me. No thank you.

Work friend: There's plenty of fish in the sea
Me: Yeah but is there any gay fish?

Thank You

I'm a good person with a blonde reputation.

Just because you were born in 1989 doesn't make you hotter than me.
Just because I'm skinny doesn't mean I'm not a virgin.

Tell me I'm young and I'll fall in love with you.

Are you white?

(Talking to a boy trying 2 flirt)
Me: You remind me of my cat
Boy: Your cat?!
Me: What? That's a compliment

I'm glad I'm not a 6'3 bottom.

My hair has never looked better. Isn't this the part where I'm supposed to be happy?

(Driving with Jimmy)
Jimmy: What is ManHunt?
Me: I don't know...probably like a sex site for gay men...like gays turn EVERY website into.

Why is it every time a 28 year old pours his heart out to me and says "give me a chance" my best is in Hawaii and I don't know who to tell and LOL with.

ME: Since Daniel's in Hawaii we should get ASHheartchuleta or some random person to stand in for Daniel and go out on Friday.
JIMMY: Good idea!

Lies come true.

(Saying hello to a Security Guard who is French)
Me: Bonjour Mijo!
Daniel: Stupid. That's French & Mexican
Me: You mean hispanic
Daniel: No, I mean SPANISH

I love pictures of me where I look like I'm stupid.

Boy at Fiesta: You look very familiar, where'd you go to school?
Me: (whisper to daniel: now's my chance.) I graduated from USC.
Boy: Ah, cool. I went to UCLA, what'd you major in?
Me: .....um....Scientist

Horny.

Just Because

2010-05-09T22:16:00.001-07:00

Just because someone's pretty doesn't mean they're mean.

Just because someone's fat doesn't mean all they do is eat fast food and cake.

Just because someone was on TV doesn't mean they think they are better than anyone.

Just because you're body is a 10 doesn't mean your face is. (hint hint: The Situation)
Just because you dress slutty doesn't mean you are.

Just because you don't like Obama, Oprah, Kanye West, Sherri Shepard or Chris Brown doesn't mean you are racist.

Just because you're gay doesnt mean you have casual sex, party all day and never want a real relationship and a family.

Just because you give the mirror a high five after you're done getting ready doesn't mean you are vain.

Just because you graduated college doesn't mean you should be lazy til 30.

Just because you get in a relationship doesn't mean you should gain weight and then blame it on the fact that you got "comfortable" in your relationship.

Thank you.

Violence is NOT the answer

2010-05-09T22:12:00.000-07:00

But haven't you ever heard the phrase "They need some sense knocked in to them"?

This kid did. He shoved me, then called Daniel a mouthful of swear words then walked off laughing. Um. No. @DanielStabile likes to let people think they get away with things but he always gets the last laugh. We preteneded to walk to our car then 10 minutes later Daniel snuck up behind the kid and gave him a nice lil smack to thank him for his mean words and shove shove. We may be skinny but that doesn't mean we can't defend ourselves-slash-know how to operate a chainsaw.

Don't mess with Dannyell Stuhebeel.

Oh and P.S Hey drag queen, you know who you are....we comin for you honey.

I LOVE, love, love.

2010-05-05T02:02:00.001-07:00

1. I LOVE when people write in upper case and lower case.

AKA: hEy Ma yOu GonNa hEaD to ThA GYm tOdaAY?

That literally just took me a WHOLE MINUTE to type out. Why would you want to do that to yourself mija? So weird.

2. I LOVE girls who think they can grow their roots out and do the whole Lauren Conrad / Whitney Port thing. Um. You can't. Not until you are getting paid $75,000 to be told what to talk about and sip mimosas at a sidewalk cafe. THEN and only then can you have 9 and a half inch roots.
3. I LOVE friends who when they notice you are feeling alone and down are there for you, baby you, let you sit in their room with them, come hang with you at work and sacrifice things in order to make you feel UN-alone. I love my best friend.
4. I love getting my Facebook hacked at 1am & feeling so angry & annoyed that I feel the need to do something to make myself feel better...so I have a hot boy drive to the street I live on, don't invite him in, don't say hello, when he arrives shove him against a wall on the side of my house, make him take his shirt off and make out with him for 40 minutes. THEN go back inside without saying goodbye, drink chocolate milk, brush my teeth, watch Golden Girls and go to bed. (long pause) I love that.(Yes. That's him and don't worry I still remained a total Brady in my behavior.)

5. I LOVE friends who depend on you and use you to get through a hard time only to TTYN you and forget you exist once they get a boyfriend. Yeah, I don't love that.

xx
Stephen

My Absolute Number 1 IDOL

2010-05-05T01:58:00.000-07:00

Christine Taylor's version of Marcia Brady.

I live for this quote.

From the Mouths of Stephen & Daniel

2010-05-03T01:24:00.000-07:00

(Seeing a really HOT Dad at Disneyland)
Daniel: Oh my gosh.
Me: I know.
Daniel: Daddy NEMA
Me: Do you think it'd be weird if I went up and asked to take a picture with him?
Daniel: (pause) I don't see why not.

(3 LAPD Officers Questioning us about where we were parked, they made all 4 of us line up and face a wall)
Me: Officer are we going to jail?
Lady Officer: No
Me: Officer may I please stand in the middle instead of on the end?
Lady Officer: Um....I guess.
Me: Ugh people we know are coming....Officer may I please get on my knees so no one sees me, I was on a tv show.
Daniel: STEPHEN! SHUT UP!

(Girl chat with Daniel)
Daniel: Did you get your ticket in the mail yet?
Me: No, but it's only been a week
Daniel: So that's what..14 days?

"I don't mind him being homosexual...I just don't want him dating men!" - Blanche Deveraux

(Dinner with my family)
Me: Wait...I haven't seen my passport in a while.....MOM do you have my passport?
My Mom: I think so
Me: K good! Don't lose it....I love that picture.

(In the car before going out)
Me: K Daniel your job is to not let me give my phone number to anyone tonight unless they are above an 8.
Daniel: And your job is to make sure I don't choke anyone.
Me: Deal.

(Girl Chat)
Daniel: I think I hate him
Me: Me too. He wouldn't shut up. He tells me "looks aren't everything" and I'm like duh cuz you don't have any.

10 No, No's

2010-05-03T00:31:00.000-07:00

1. DON’T try and get under someone’s skin by referring to their 15 minutes of fame. Have u ever even had 1 second? NO. People who get offended by this are people who are devoting their entire life to trying to be famous. Moving to Hollywood, accepting every and any offer that comes their way, hanging at paparazzi infested locations, etc. Are you known for anything? No. Will you get a job behind a desk and grow old alone? Yes. I'd rather be known for winning a Paris Hilton reality show than be known for being invisible.

2. DON'T complain about your skin and/or weight if you aren't doing ANYTHING to take care of it.
(i.e. Falling asleep with clown make up on and shoveling in cupcakes.)

You're never going to get down to Onch Movement size with a Snickers in one hand and a Big Gulp in the other.

3. DON'T talk shit about people and then get mad/sad when they talk shit to you..... and are better at it.

4. DON'T talk shit about someone who made more money by 21 than you will your entire lifetime.

5. DON'T pretend you can get in through the VIP line and then be seen with the teenager wrist band on an hour later. Sad.

6. DON'T think you and your friends are the girls from The Hills unless you resemble this:(And remember girls: DON'T act like you're a Lauren when you're really a Heidi.)

7. DON'T say EPIC for every single fawking thing.
EXAMPLES: Oh my god! I just got an epic letter! Wow tomorrow will be epic! I ate the most epic dinner.

Oh. My. God. When did this word get so played out? Chill.

It's not EPIC if it's every 5 fucking minutes.

8. DON'T BEG for Twitter followers. Do you REALLY want people to know what you are doing that badly?

9. DON'T go on online sex sites. If you have to go online for sex: Throw your band-aids away, LOOK in THE MIRROR and punch it.

10. DON'T be nervous, just be excited and sexy.

Thank you.
S

Thank You Jesus

2010-04-22T00:02:00.000-07:00

God is good.

I heart Tim Urban. Sad he was kicked off American Idol last night but happy to find these when googling him.Mama just found himself a new desktop background.

xS

Vrroom Vrroom

2010-04-19T15:59:00.000-07:00

Why do boys drive their cars fast on the first date? Has anyone else ever noticed that? I can recall three first dates where when I got in to his car he revved the engine and slammed on the petal.

Now I know this might sound weird or whatever but I KNOW they do it on purpose. Last time this happened we were driving in a residential neighborhood where the speed limit posted was 35 and he hiked it up to 70. Of course I’m sitting there in the passenger seat holding on to the door for dear life and thinking in my head “Fuck. I just bought Golden Girls season 4 on DVD and I’m not going to get to live to watch it. Buck toothed whore.“ I casually glimpsed over and saw him looking at me with a smile on his face trying to see my reaction.

Um…wait am I supposed to be in awe? Or think this is so cool! The look on his face seemed as though he was expecting me to be saying “Whoa we are popular in this fast car! I’m horny now! You’re car is awesome! You’re the big man on campus! Take me back to your Mom's NOW and take my already half way unbuttoned shirt off.”

No. What you are making me think is that you have a small penis. We are in our twenties. Take it easy Tiger. Boys who have to immediately overcompensate their coolness are usually trying to amp you up so you won’t be disappointed later when they show you their pink in a blanket. Unfortunately for them Mama don’t put out on a first date, second, third, fourth and so on. Well…unless, oh never mind we are NOT going to talk about December 2006.

Boys: Drive the speed limit. Honestly, you kill me, my Daddy kill you. Driving your car fast does not impress people. I swear. It’s dangerous, annoying and something a 16 year old would do on their birthday. K?

Case of the Fern Mayo

2010-04-17T02:45:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else besides me love when people think they are really popular or something that they are not or say things like "Ugh, whatever. I'm so much better than they are."

I find that SO lol. Never, ever, ever have I once had to convince myself or tell myself or tweet that I am better than anyone. If you are...you don't need to say it. SAYING IT proves that you are not.

Here is all I can preach to those that are a fan of this phrase:

Take it easy. Grab an iced coffee and try and put yourself in a good mood. WORK on yourself. WORK on who you want to be. Rogaine. Gym. Manicures. Something that will make you want to focus on yourself rather than others. GOOD things happen to good people. I love when people try to put me down, talk trash or show severe signs of jealousy. It doesn't make me go "Awww I'm sad. I'm crying." It makes me happy. I've been so blessed with so many amazing things and have so many exciting things coming up that when I see someone down on themselves and taking it out on others I just want to sing to them. Sing loud.

In closing...THIS IS ME:
and THIS IS YOU:Remember that next time you are running your mouth like THOUSANDS are listening and you're just SOO cool! They're not. 20 people, maybe. Thousands? No. Cool people don't need to convince anyone. They don't need to say 'God I'm attractive' or 'VIP. Loves it.' They don't do that. That's reserved for Ogres. You can continue to live in a dream world if it makes you happy but remember this: you won't score above a 3 with an attitude like that. You are who your friends are so get out a piece of paper, write their names down and take a nice long moment and think.

And PS, Jan....don't mess with Marcia again. Your head may be big, but my brain is bigger.

Thank you.

Quote of my LIFE

2010-04-15T02:38:00.000-07:00

"It's not really cool anymore to have sex all the time. It's cooler to be strong and independent." - Lady Gaga

It's so true. I wish more people thought this way. I find it so gross how publicly open people are to strangers about sex. It's SOOO tacky and gross. When I read tweets saying "I need some c*ck" or "Looking around on Craigslist for a guy" or "On Grindr" They think they're funny but they're not. I feel bad for them.

A. It's not classy.

B. You look like trash who will never go anywhere because you think your life is a reality show that no one is watching.

C. No one wants the community bike that everyones ridden.

I can't wait to see the people like this when they're 30. I'm glad I don't parade around like a whore. I can go to a club and not ONE person there can name someone I've slept with that wasn't my boyfriend.

Call me boring. Call me UNCOOL. I'd rather be this way than lost with lines under my eyes, condom wrappers in my trash can and the thought of "who's next?" on my mind.

Thank You.
SH

Awwww...NO

2010-04-14T19:31:00.000-07:00

Starting right after the first episode of PHMNBFF aired I have dealt with on average ONE dilusional gay guy a month telling me the same thing like they all do "I was supposed to be on the show and I would have won."

K. Except you weren't and you didn't.

I feel SO embarrassed for them whenever they say this to me. Ofcourse I stand there and nod my head and patiently listening to this tragic, drunk gay kid tell me a make believe fairy tale. But on the inside the LOLs are rollin.

Two weeks ago while out at a club a friend came up and said hello to me, he was accompanied by his angry drunk gay friend whom I shook hands with and then was told this...

"I know Paris. I was supposed to be on the 2nd season of BFF and I would have won."

I SHOULD have gone along with it and said "OMG Really!? Well then I must count myself SO LUCKY that you and your skull tattoo and long sideburns weren't on the show! Cuz I never would have stood a chance against you! HUH!?"

LOLS but I stood there.. bit my tounge, lowered my v-neck and smiled. BUT NOW Mama gotta speak his mind:

NO YOU WEREN'T. NO. You. WERE. not.

A. If you know her...where have you been this whole year that I've known her? Where were you at her BDAY party? Get togethers? Events? Slumber parties!? Vacations? Where were you babe? I missed you. You KNOW her! Where are you? How come you aren't invited?

Don't force feed me your nonsense make believe stories. EVERYONE thinks they're famous. Let's just NOT think that way K. I don't. YOU shouldn't. I find it so rude that people want to come up and tell me they would have won. Guess what ass hole...You didn't.

27,000 other people tried to "win" too and they didn't. Accept it. Be polite. Be grown up. Don't come up and tell me you would have won over me. That's so lame. That'd be like me telling you I sweat more than you do, even though we all know YOU do. You wouldn't want me trying to belittle your excessive sweating...would you? Before you come up and waste your breathe trying to make me think you are "cooler" than me for whatever reason you feel you have to...remember...I'm laughing at you on the INSIDE and I have a brain honey.....A BIG one. Thank you.

See you soon. Except not.

Love, Stephen
x

From the Mouths of Stephen & Daniel

2010-04-14T16:38:00.000-07:00

(Gossiping with DeeDee)
Daniel: Just lookin at him makes my skin crawl
Me: It's sad isn't it. But like I always say TWO 3 letter things always eventually happen when you move to LA; D.U.I and S.T.D. That's why Mama keep his distance.

Me: Is it bad that I have a harder time saying goodbye to cake than I do to a friendship?

(Bed time girl chat)
Daniel: You know what I realized today
Me: What?
Daniel: You're like MY Jesus
Me: How so?
Daniel: Because I come to you to confess all my sins.

(After watching The Blind Side)
Me: Would you ever adopt a black guy?
Daniel: I mean...I guess, if I knew he was gonna be in the NFL.

(At H&M)
Daniel: Wait...doesn't that boy look familiar?
Me: Yes. But that doesn't mean we are gonna be the ones to say "hi" first.

(Driving home from LA)
Me: I don't get why some people are so rude and mean to me. It's not my fault I'm skinny and blonde and white and..
Daniel: Kill me! Kill me! Somebody! NOW!

(At Dinner discussing having a lesbian daughter)
Me: Would you care if you had a daughter and she was lesbian?
Daniel: I know how them lesbians are. They got attitude. So If I had a lesbian daughter it would either have to cooperate or off it goes to boot camp. It's as simple as that.
Me: LOLS

(Girl Chat)
Daniel: I like that fat girl, she ROCKS it.
Me: I do too. I approve. She's sweet.
Daniel: Yeah,...but she can't come out with us.

Role Models

2010-03-16T21:59:00.000-07:00

Last week I used a swear word on Twitter and got a twitter mention from a man saying this:

"I thought you were so nice before but now I don't think that. You aren't how you were on BFF in real life."

Days later I recieved a tweet from another kid saying this:

"I saw @StephenHampton kissing some guy last night. He is just like every other slut. He isn't a good role model."

Welp. Let's talk kids...

A. If you are going to say I am not the person they showed me to be on BFF that is a load of crap. Correct me if I'm wrong but was I or was I not the one whom in the 2nd episode of the season CUSSED a girl out in the jacuzzi, telling her "You're fake. You're a piece of f*cking shit, go back in the house."

Um. That was me y'all. I was not too nice or too mean. I was completely myself. I joked, I used swear words when necessary, I was emotional, funny, kind, thoughtful. I was everything that I am in real life. I, like everyone else can't be SOO HAPPY AND SWEET 24-7. THAT IS NOT REAL LIFE. ALL people get angry, get sad, get loud, are kind, etc. There is no such thing as being only mean or only nice. We're humans honey.

Next...

B. Role model? Role model my ass. Be who you ARE. That is what will get you places. Not making up who you are and living like that. If you be 100% yourself you're not going to be a role model to EVERYONE, only to some. Which is how it's supposed to be. Role models come in every form. I am human. I'm gay. I make out with boys occasionally. I'm not going to be a nun and let a nema walk by me and not kiss him if I want to. I REFUSE to be one of the people who have had 4 seconds of fun in the spotlight and then lie about who they are so that people will consider them a good role model. That's lame. I would never pretend to be against something and then go home and do it. Like some who preach that sex, drugs, etc is SO bad but then they go home and do just that. No. I'm not like that. I have always been honest and been up front about who I am. I don't do drugs, I've never smoked a cigarrette and I don't have casual sex. That's just me. I don't hate on people who do do those things. We're all different.

Recently while out with one of my friends he pulled out a cigarrette and began to smoke. I had no idea he smoked and gave him a hard time about it for a hot second. Telling him "You're supposed to be a role model!" Then I stepped back and thought...GOOD FOR HIM! He's not trying to hide. He wasn't ranting on "Oh i never do this." He did what he wanted and didn't care what people thought. And people LOVE him even if he does smoke. Boo hoo. The fact that he does doesn't make him less of a role model. THAT is my kind of role model. Someone who is themself. Someone who doesn't lie and pretend to be things that they are not. Someone who realizes this is my life. I ain't gettin another one and Imma do what the fck I wanna do.

Most of my role models have done some CRAZY stuff but they're still my role models.

Now then......Where my umbrella at?

Thank.
You.
Stephen

6 to six

2010-03-16T21:53:00.000-07:00

Below are 6 sentences to six different people. Is one about you?

1. It's never smart to say things to someone with such a big mouth. They repeat things.

2. It's NEVAA gonna happen.

3. I had sexy dreams about you. Wanna have a slumber party?

4. If I never saw you again...that'd be okay.

5. He's too good for you.

6. Grow some balls and shut up.

X
Stephen

Dee Dee & Steve Part 2

2010-03-15T16:37:00.000-07:00

A little bit more mellow this time and I'm sorry but we just love the Housewives of Orange County quotes.
xo

Dee Dee & Steve

2010-03-08T14:44:00.000-08:00

Daniel & I used to make videos of everything buuuut then I got busy and stopped. This past week I decided to whip the camera out. Beware of violence and language.

xo

Does anyone else besides me

2010-03-04T00:44:00.000-08:00

Does anyone else besides me notice the difference between people at Wal Mart and Target? You walk through Wal Mart and see 400lb latina with her skunk highlights grown out 14 inches and her belly hanging out of her spaghetti strap top, baby slung over her shoulder and Vato boyfriend on his cell saying "Aye, does Victor need diapers man?" Everyone is mean and ghetto there and the lines are always 5 years long. Then you go to Target and it's clean and thin; my favorite. Sure everything is a quarter more expensive but who cares...it's worth it.

Does anyone else besides me wonder when Ryan Seacrest is going to finally come out of the closet? Ryan hun...love ya, but this is just stupid. You've been sooo pop on the scene for like 9 years now and never have you been in a relationship or even ritually dating someone. GAY. That's impossible. You're thin, you're in and you're tan. THOSE PEOPLE DATE! You're not fooling anyone. And it espesh' doesn't help when you grab hunky male idol contestants by the bicep after they're done singing. It's okay baby...we're still gonna love you be you gay or straight. Don't be lonely and single forever just to have a horny career.

Does anyone else besides me hate when you get ready for the day and feel SO extra cute and then you see your friends/family/coworkers and they act like they don't notice!? It's like....come on! SAY SOMETHING! So Rude!

Does anyone else besides me say this to their TV screen when Ellen is giving her judging feedback to one of the hot girls on Idol "Oh please Ellen..you just want her pussy." LOLS I don't know why but it always flies right out of Daniel and my mouths whenever she praises a hot female. It's either that or we say "Oh god..Ellen's probably dripping wet for this one." Stephen/Daniel: Just because she's a lezzie doesn't mean she wants every P-P. You don't like it when straight guys think you think they're hot when you SOO do not right?

Please tell me you kind of think this way too.

Stephen

From the Mouths of Stephen & Daniel

2010-03-01T16:35:00.000-08:00

(While out I notice Daniel isn't wearing his Green contacts)
Me: You're not wearing your contacts!?
Daniel: I forgot
Me: Wait a minute...I make you white...and YOU can't even remember to wear your contacts!?

(Seeing this mean phillipino gay out at House of Blues)
Me: I don't get why he always comes out. It's not like boys hit on him.
Daniel: lols

(In the car driving home from Weho)
Jason: I have a date tomorrow night.
Me: With who?
Jason: This guy I've been talking to a lot on Facebook.
Me: On a scale of 1 to 10 what is he?
Jason: Like a 9, almost a 10
Me: What about on my scale of 1 to 10
Jason: Like a 7
Daniel: LOL
Me: Is he a top or bottom or a bop

(At the mall)
Daniel: Can we go to GNC
Me: I don't wanna walk over there but we can only if you're going to really buy something
20 MINUTES LATER
Daniel on the phone to BABYHOLE: Oh shit,...I'm nervous. If i don't find something to buy I'm gonna get in trouble.

(Girl Chat)
Me: I can't believe we're 25 this year.
Daniel: You're tellin me...I'm a 25 year old who can't even spell. I spelt COUGH = coff

(Driving in the car with Daniel)
Me: Johnny Depp looks so stupid as the cat in the hat
Daniel: You mean Alice in Wonderland?

Reality Obsessed

2010-03-01T16:28:00.001-08:00

I loved getting all the feedback from everyone in Canada about the episode of Reality Obsessed I did recently. It was such a fun experience. I loved being a Judge of the 3 girls and I got to make two great friends Murtz (the host of the show) and DeAnna (from The Bachelor/Bachelorette). I have to wait for the DVD of the episode to come seeing as how Reality Obsessed doesn't play in the states. Can't wait to watch it!
xo
S

Gay, Gay, Gay

2010-02-28T03:06:00.000-08:00

Has anyone besides me ever noticed that Gays don't want other gays to be friends with their gays?

Confusing, I know.

While I was out at the House of Blues this past Wednesday night I saw a guy I've known for a while standing with 2 guys. One of which kept staring and smiling at me. The friend I knew waved at me so I walked over, gave him a hug and said "hello". Immediately something felt kind of awkward, like he wanted to say hi to me but be rude about it... so I said "Good to see you" and walked away.

That's when my friend heard him say "That's Steffan (um no) from the Paris Best friend show, he's really fake and will say anything to get you to like him."

Hold the phone Rojalio.

So you kiss my ass? Wave me over? Blow my facebook up and ask me how to do my hair but yet...

I'm fake, My name is Steffan? and I'll say anything to get people to like me? Since when? Last time I checked I wasn't 14 anymore. Mama don't have to beg for friends. Sure..I have to go on TV shows to find friends but who doesn't!? I love everyone in my life and I don't think I beg them to be in it.

This is a typical example of gays not wanting other gays to be friends with their gays. That boy probably noticed his friend smiling and winking over at me and wanted to cut the cord-FAST. Because in his Momo mind he's competitive, ugly, worried and jealous and things like that will turn his crows feet in to Eagles feet. I prom. Boys like this have to make up something in order to try and make sure their friends-slash-love interests don't book it for a skinny blonde with a tan and fake tits. (I don't know, it just fell out of my mouth)

Keep your gay. I didn't want him anyway. The space between his eyes was too wide. You know I can't do that. And FYI wannabe: You're highlights ARE orange. (I wish you could read that how I said it.)

If you see someone out and make up an instant lie about them to tell a friend: You're a loser. Loser. Remember that. Trying that hard to make sure your "people" dont like other people makes you look stupid.

MY FRIENDS are like my Barbies...I love sharing them.

Play nice girls.

Bachelor/Bachelorette

2010-02-28T02:48:00.000-08:00

If you watch the Bachelor/Bachelorette and pay attention you may be noticing a lame pattern and want to scream at the producers much like I do.

When Jillian was the Bachelorette they brought Jake out after he had already been eliminated and had him try and be some "hero" and tell Jillian about "the guy with the girlfriend". Did Jake do this because he JUST HAD TO? No. He did that because PRODUCERS want him to do that so he looks like Prince Charming and thus sets him up to be our next "Bachelor". Viewers watch him coming to Jillians rescue and do the right thing then they think "HE DESERVES A GOOD GIRL!" Whatever. I fell for it.

NOW

On Jakes season we have Ali. Gorgeous girl, sweet, funny, bitchy...the whole package. Mysteriously she has to go home for work even though I know 1st hand that when you leave for a show like this it takes 30 days to film and she being a smart girl I'm sure let her work know about this. Maybe something really did come up, maybe it didn't. HOWEVER...in last weeks episode Ali mysteriously comes back asking for another chance and gets brutally rejected by Jake. Again I say: lame

Here's why: If Ali contacted the producers about wanting to talk to Jake and wanting to come back the producers would go to Jake and say "Hey say Ali tried asking for a chance to come back...what would you say to that?" And Jake would either say YES or NO. Just like on Jillians season with Ed, Jillian obviously said yes. So If in this situation Jake said NO why on earth would a camera crew fly all the way to San Francisco and waste their time and money all for that 5 minute clip on that episode? That makes no sense.

They wanted viewers to feel bad for her for being rejected and for having to leave for work. They want viewers to say in the heads "That girl deserves a second chance at love!"

Bam. Bachelorette.

The producers on this show have been getting lazy and trying WAY too hard for "good tv" Producers will steal your soul if you let them.

If I'm wrong. I'm wrong. If I'm not.

Thank You.
xo

From the Mouths of Stephen & Daniel

2010-02-20T16:59:00.000-08:00

(At Starbucks)
Daniel: Who was that guy you used to talk to that worked here?
Me: Josh?
Daniel: What ever happened with him?
Me: He got fat.

(Walking out of a restaurant)
Daniel: OMG did you see that?
Me: See what?
Daniel: That man back there was typing on his lap top and using Microsoft Word but it wasn't coming out in english it was in Chinese!
Me: What? You can type in Chinese? I thought you had to like...paint it?

(In the car with our friend Kevin)
Daniel: I do NOT like him. Wait...is he your good friend?
Kevin: No, not really.
Daniel: Okay good. That sick dog face.

Me: Let's go to In-N-Out
Daniel: Fine but let's go home first
Me: Why?
Daniel: I need to unload before I can reload.

(At a Nail Salon)
Daniel: Hi, I need to get my eyebrows waxed
YaoLin: Okay gimme 5 minute.
Daniel: Do I get some kind of..like...discount now?
YaoLin: Huh? Why you need discount?
Daniel: Cuz I'm white now.

(In Las Vegas with all the BFF girls)
Daniel: I just wanna commend you.
Me: Why?
Daniel: Living in a house with them girls for a month, I'd give you a prize at the end too.

(Watching an Anti Wrinkle Cream commercial that claims your face will look 25 years younger)
Daniel: Wait...I just turned 25, so if i use that stuff I'll look like an infant!? Sign me up!
Me: Oh my god
Daniel: Imagine I come in to your room...my body is the same but I have the face of a 6 week old baby!!

(At Tiger Heat)
Daniel to Adam Lambert: Hey! Can you take a picture with my friend Jason?
Adam Lambert: Sorry I can't,..I'm walking right now.
Daniel & Me: LOL! That's hot!

Daniel: If Twitter was linked to my body..my trending topic would always be "Do I look fat?"

Take it easy Jersey Shore

2010-02-20T16:36:00.000-08:00

If you follow everyone from Jersey Shore on twitter then your ears may be bleeding too. I normally don't get sick of hearing certain phrases but the Jersey Shore kids have literally "fist pumped" their shit in to the ground.

The things they said on the show were funny when they said it because they weren't trying to be funny. When they talked about fist pumping, poofs, guidos/guidettes, juice heads, beating up the beat, GTL, etc it was funny because they talked so casually about it.

BUT NOW they know people think it's funny and that's why they BLEW UP so they NEVER, ever, ever stop tweeting about it. 2 tweets can't go by without hearing "Fist pumpin that beat tonight! Where all my hot guido's at? Lets eat a pickle and do our poofs, but first we gotta GTL!"

Come on. Seriously. Don't ruin it for those of us who were OBSESSED with watching your show. Daniel & I never missed an episode and thought it was SUCH a good show but now even we are like "Omg if they don't take it easy on the overdoing of the phrases I'm not even going to want to watch the 2nd season."

Take it easy. It's getting old fast. I didn't like the show because they fist pumped, I liked it because of the DRRRRAMA.

Love.

Happy Birthday Week to Paris!

2010-02-18T01:18:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to one of the sweetest, kindest people I know. I'm so thankful and blessed to have such a caring, compassionate and funny friend. Can't wait to celebrate with my sexy BFF!!

Gay Plastic Surgery

2010-02-15T23:31:00.000-08:00

If you have a gay friend you probably know the three most important things to them

1. Boys
2. Attention
and
3. Being young

Recently I came upon Lance Bass' plastic surgery before and after photo. Scary.At first glance I thought it was a blonde Chinese guy. Yikeys.

Why do they do this? What is the obsession with wanting to be soo young?

I find it funny when a 24 yr old gay friend says "Ughhh! I wish I was 19!" I don't.The only good thing about being 19 was that Mama ain't had no bills back then and... I was virgin. Thank you.

After seeing sweet Lance's new Siamese cat face a few other Gaylebrity faces popped into my head. AKA:

The Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Guy:This is NOT pretty. I saw him UP close and PERSONAL at the Kylie concert in Vegas back in October. I know how this looks. Not yummy.

OR

The Flipping Out guy:He's not fooling anyone with those swollen ass hole looking lips. Yuck.

Why do they take it to the absolute extreme? If anything I think they look worse and actually OLDER. If I wanted to get Plastic surgery I would do it sooo gradually and lightly. I wouldn't want to look fcked up or a different race than what I am*cough*Lance*cough*. I know, I know.... we all joke that when we are 30 we want our faces to be so tight that nothing moves except our eye balls.

But seriously...Gross.

Take it easy Momo's k. Botox up the crow's feet if necessary, but let's leave it at.

Cheating your way to be "hot" is for Heidi Montag.

Where is she!? Where is she!?

2010-01-25T23:54:00.000-08:00

While out playing with my friends on Saturday night we were heading out of a bar and some kid mumbled "Yeah like they're really friends. Where's Paris now? Ha ha ha."

K. Let's address that.

I've always thoroughly enjoyed that comment. I've never understood why people think she is supposed to be with JUST me every second. We party, we chat, we gossip, we laugh, we're FRIENDS. Do friends BLAST to the world every time they get a text, call or voicemail from one another? Uhmm no. Friends in their mid twenties do NOT have every second of every day, all day long to sit around and play. With family, work, relationships and Jesus.....it's just not possible. If I hung out with her RIGHT this second and posted a picture...by TOMORROW people would say "Where's Paris? Do you guys even talk?"

Yes. Yes. YES.

So you Weho Filth Dog: Next time instead of shouting out something to try and annoy me why don't we re-evaluate YOUR situation. YOU, my friend, should be working on that spare tire hanging around your waist, the acne on your cheeks and the Adios Mother F’er in your hand. Ya.Um hi, who even drinks those anymore? They are SO fat.

Thank you.

I know who My BFF is. Who's yours?

BFF Play date

2010-01-25T21:00:00.000-08:00

Saturday night with Ms Nicole at the AbbeySuch a funny night!

Thanks for kicking that chubby mean guy who called me ugly! Us BFF's always have one anothers backs.

xo
S

Husband, oh husband

2010-01-25T20:45:00.000-08:00

I feel so bad for people who are desperate to get married.
(And not just because I can't. For real.)

Majority of these people are women over 25. Don't be desperate. Wait. Just wait.

I have a friend that I have DESPERATELY been trying to tolerate for the past few months but tonight I wanted to strangle her! Here's why:

She's 28. Up until a few months ago was single. THEN got back together with her ex-boyfriend on a Thursday and got married on a Saturday. (Back in October)I'm friends with her husband. Know him by name. Love him. Love her.

BUT NOW...his name apparently is "HUSBAND". She refuses to call him ANYTHING but husband. It's been FOUR months. Come on now.

Me: What'd you do today?
Friend: Oh me and my husband ate lunch.

Um...I know him. You can use his name. If I just met you and had never met your dear "husband" it would make all the sense in the world for you to refer to him as that. In 4 months I have never heard her call him by name or refer to him by his name.

Makes me think.....Honey you were just desperate to get married and are simply just obsessed with the idea of having a "husband". Sad. So sad.

I'd rather wait my turn and do everything the right way. Not rush down the alter and wind up 36, divorced and single.

Not hot.

xoxo
Husband head.

There are 2 kinds of Boys

2010-01-20T02:10:00.000-08:00

Well...two from my experiences.

1. Boys who want to go on a date.
2. And boys who want to "hang out". Like this...(I'm not proud of this picture.)

The other night I was ranting on about a boy to my good friend over a lil Sunday night Gossip session. I explained to her how I wish I hadn't let him slip through my fingers and how I wish I had been more available.

Why? She wondered.

Because, he was the kind of boy who when we met said "I want to take you out on a date." Not "Hey..we should hang out sometime." or "We should all totally meet up at the Abbey." He wanted to go on a "DATE"

Who says that anymore?

All 3 of my ex boyfriends do. I thought back to all the boys I have had relationships with and then I thought about all the boys I just hung out with. The boys I was in relationships with asked me out on "DATES", took things slow and wanted to get to know me. They were mature, smart and responsible. The boys I "hung out" with were the type who lived paycheck to paycheck, slept in til 2, pursued "acting" careers with bags under their eyes, vodka breathe and wanted things to be completely chill. No dates. No future. No getting lovey dovey. They needed to FOCUS on auditions while out til 2am every night...drinking. HOT!! They're the type that wants to either just have sex, just be friends or just is looking for a make out partner with a nice set of ta-ta's. Thank you.

Now...don't get me wrong, 65% of the time I am NOT looking to date anyone seriously. But if I were, I prefer the boys who wanna go on dates. Boys never do that anymore. It's all about having friends you have sex with. That's not hot. I don't want to be like so many others I know who are approaching 30 and still hit up WeHo 5 nights a week and are trying to be the next Brad Pitt. You can't. I prom.(Don't get me wrong I love West Hollywood. Just not the penis' in it.)

I want to work. I want to get my "civil union"(LOLcats. Cuz we can't marry) and I want to have a family.

So on a scale of 1 to 10, (I'm rollin the number back) if you're an 8, 9 or 10 and are photogenic (see previous blogs to understand)....wanna go on a date?

Horny.

Stephen. x

20 Random Facts about Me, Part 2

2010-01-16T16:47:00.001-08:00

1. I love that my first name has 7 letters and so does my last name.
2. I step into my v-necks instead of putting them on over my head.
3. I think hair on feet is sick. If I see a hair on my foot. It's gone.
4. I don't trust people where every pic of them on their Facebook is from the neck up. What are you hiding down there?
5. I found out on accident from a Production assistant that I was the only boy in the cast of BFF before I was supposed to know. After she left my hotel room I started jumping up and down on the bed.
6. I refuse to touch my adam's apple. It scares me.
7. I feel really uncomfortable around drag queens.
8. I survived date rape.
9. I would never get a tattoo.
10. I would never pierce anything.
11. I've never gotten high.
12. I've been pulled over 15+ times.
13. I've never cheated on a boyfriend.
14. I've never read the bible outside of at church.
15. I told a boy i'd kiss him if he let me slap him across the face first. He let me.
16. I've pretended to go to the bathroom but then ran 2 my car and left on a blind date.
17. I think beer is trashy. Yuck.
18. Apparently I will stop talking to a boy because he isn't photogenic. Psychopath.
19. I cut my hair atleast once a day.
20. Jesus texts me.

Thank You Jesus

2010-01-16T16:44:00.000-08:00

Ugh. So pretty.

Best Friend Status Humpers

2010-01-15T17:27:00.000-08:00

Have you ever seen 2 friends out and one is extremely attractive and one, well...isn't?

Then have you ever noticed the less cute one trying to use the cute one for attention?

I have, and I don't understand it.

I've seen this happen a lot. Be it between 2 boys or 2 girls and I think it's sad. If you have to use your friend to get love interest attention or even ATTENTION period. That's sad. That is NOT what friends are for.

The type of kid that does this has all the usual symptons:

1. Blasts their name everywhere. (Hanging out with Blah!, Blah said this today, Blah & Me yesterday, Blah & Me right now!, Blah is so funny! and all in one day? Maybe ONE a day wouldn't make you look so obsessed. Just a thought.)
2. Won't go out on the town without them.
3. Won't leave their side when they hang out. (Have fun with your friends, let them have fun, make new friends with your friend,...but don't hump them and don't freak out when they are 10 feet away from you.)
4. Watches them in awe 24-7. (That is Spooky. Not Snooki.)
5. Makes them feel guilty when they aren't invited somewhere with them.

I love my friends. I talk about them all the time. I.E. Daniel, Paris, Jimmy, Tiniecia, Lauren etc. I share funny stories, quotes, and tell people things I love about them.

However

I'm normal. I don't need to use any of them to make me feel "cool" or "popular". I feel pre BFF I wasn't some lonely hagatha in the corner. I feel I've always been completely satisfied with who I am and have stayed exactly the same. Sweet, confidant and happy.

So boys/girls: Remember...you're an adult. This isn't High School anymore. Hanging out with a cool kid doesn't make you hot, popular, or horny. It doesn't give you the right to think you are better than anyone or you can talk down on anyone just because you think you have Status on your right arm. If you think it does...I feel bad for you. If you can't do it on your own. That sucks.

Look in the mirror and say Hi! Then go make being "not hot" cool.

K.

S

From The Mouths of Daniel & Stephen

2010-01-14T14:07:00.000-08:00

(Getting coffee at McDonalds)
Me:Free Wifi? Why would a McDonalds have free wifi?
(5 minutes goes by)
Daniel: Hang on..did you say McDonalds has free wifi?
Me: Yeah
Daniel: Hold on! I'm gonna start coming down here and watch me some porn.

(Driving past a private airport where planes are doing stunt shows)
Daniel: Whoa! Do you see that plane going in circles?
Me: Yeah
Daniel: I wonder if they get sea sick?
Me: Sea sick?

(Eating In-N-Out in my car)
Me:Are you done?
Daniel: Yeah
Me: Do you see a trash can?
Daniel: Yeah
Me: You do?
Daniel: Yeah
(opens car door, throws it on the ground)

(Girl Chat)
Me: I think they're nice
Daniel: Honey...as far as I'm concerned they're both dogs.

(Boy talk with Jason and Daniel)
Me: Oh I know if I like a guy if I wanna lick his nipples
Daniel & Jason: WTF?
Me: I'm serious. If I don't wanna lick his nipples I know it's not gonna work out. I'm just picky like that.

(Watching American Idol)
Me: Omg I would never let my child look like that, would you?
Daniel: No I'd beat the shit out of them if they dressed like that.

(Watching Daybreakers)
Me: Omg I'm scared looking!
Daniel, Jeret, Jason: WHAT?
Me: I mean I'm scared.

(Girl Chat)
Daniel: Honestly though I think he's the type of person who wants to be the one with all the attention.
Me: But why? He's never looked worse.

Don't hook up with your Producer

2010-01-14T13:48:00.000-08:00

So as anyone who watched The Bachelor on ABC knows that Rozlyn was sent home this week, not by the Bachelor, Jake, but because she hooked up with one of the people on their production staff.

When I saw this...I...LOVED IT! Such good TV! Alot of people were saying "How would she have been able to even hook up with him?" I believe that the show The Bachelor does what most shows do...they bring out 50 girls instead of 25, put them all up in a hotel and go through the audition process to narrow it down. Then they keep a group of 25, half who have a chance with Jake and half who are just crazy and are cast only for television. So when you are in the hotel each day a producer will come and visit you because you are not allowed to leave your room. So then....

You take hot blonde contestant (trying to get ahead in life by giving head):
And then take Mr.Producer:Not hot, never stands a chance with someone like this girl, have him throw around the fact that he's a producer and has connections...and BOOM. You got laid.

Sad, pathetic girl. I feel bad for her. Rozlyn was soo hot! Had she not been labeled a whore infront of millions of people she may have actually had good things coming her way. But to pick that nasty ass over this:Bitch. You crazy. I love you Jake. So girls...sleeping around may get you somewhere for a hot second, but that's it. 9 out of 10 "show biz" guys know just the right thing to say to get a naive girl into their bed. Trust me. Their connections aren't all that great.

P.S. Here's a secret: The same exact story of this happened on our season of BFF. Producer-cut. Contestant-BAM. It just wasn't incorporated into the show. That's all I'm gonna say.

xx

Why

2010-01-08T23:19:00.000-08:00

Why do straight people whom are uneducated in "Gay" think seeing 2 gay boys out in public means they're fcking? It's so annoying. If I'm out with Daniel we'll get all kinds of stares. I know, I know. TV.

No. It's not all BFF stares. I can tell. They look at you like they're thinking "Whoa those boys are fudgepackers! They totally do eachother up the yingyangTwin."

Not true. Gays are allowed to have friends who are gay without doing anything. Just because boys are the most horniest(not in cute horny way) species on earth does not mean we all must bone eachother cuz we're gay.I don't like having gay friends (j.p'ing) but I do have a couple and I'd like to hang out with them without people glaring and throwing me the look of "Yes on Prop 8!" Okay.

Thank You.

Paris on "I Get that Alot"

2010-01-08T23:11:00.000-08:00

Watch this clip of Paris on a special called "I get that alot"
She is soo hilarious! The part where she buys the lady a full tank of gas was soooo touching. Paris really is such a soft hearted, generous person and when she bought that lady gas it was totally her as Paris not her playing Gas Station attendant. I love my BFF.

A Silly Post from my Onch

2010-01-08T23:04:00.000-08:00

Mr Onch Movement posted a silly blog about me and it made me LOL so I thought i'd post it on my blog too! I love him! So silly and true.

xo xo
S

"WHAT!! Hampton 1 and Hampton 2Spotted last night! Stephen Hampton and Hampton lookalike.

The Hampton lookalike had all the key elements to being a good Hampton!

Tips on being a good Stephen Hampton:
Spiked up blonde hair
Gorgeous summer tan (fake or real)
Low cut V neck shirt
Super tanned chest.
No smiling in photos!
Super sweet personality

Hampton lookalike had most of the key Hampton elements down. But we
love the real Stephen Hampton, no lookalike can ever take his place!!

Muah! Xo Onch
Blogging in the city of movement"

High School was hot

2010-01-05T14:44:00.000-08:00

WHY are all the Popular kids from high school not hot anymore?

Raise your hand if you were not hot in high school.

Now read. Last week I saw a girl from my high school whom was "the shit" in HS, one of the those thin, long haired, cute dressed, ruler of the school type girls. But....she wasn't hot anymore? Then yesterday at Target I walked past a guy who also went to my High School and was a Football Player and used to be SOO hot. In shape, cute hair, pretty teeth. But now.....Beer belly, awful skin, long greasy hair. Yucks & Yikes!

Then I went on to think of some of the people I still talk to from High School who WEREN'T hot back then. Or popular, but NOW are GORGEOUS.

What is that? Revenge? Karma?

Is this Jesus making it up to those who were less popular and hot in high school? Like..."If you can prove to me you can make it through high school not hot, you can be hot after?"

I personally love it.

Those Popular High School ass holes ALWAYS acted like they owned the place. They thought they were going to go SOOO far in life and what....thought they'd stay thin?

I don't think so.

I remember how mean those kids were in High School and how they would make others feel so bad about themselves. Laughing, pointing, yelling "queer" Rude.

Now they have knocked up scraggly girlfriends, beer guts and construction jobs. That's horny. I know for a fact I was a dog in high school. But I'd like to think I'm not a total Chelsea Clinton anymore.
And who's laughing now,.. Queer?

US.
Thank You.
P.S. If you were hot in high school and are still hot now. Job Well done. x

Reality Stars, Oh Reality Stars

2010-01-03T14:26:00.000-08:00

This is just my opinion. Not trying to offend anyone. Ever since being on a reality tv show I pay much more attention to other reality stars than I did before for some reason. I've met a lot of people from other shows and even made friends with some. But I've also noticed some odd/annoying things. I've seen certain things happen to a lot of them.

1. When their show is on... they are on top of the world. Which is SO fun as long as you realize this: Your show will end. It doesn't last forever. A lot of them brag, boast and act as though the gigs, the money, the hook ups, the fame is going to last forever.

It doesn't. You have to go in to it with an optomistic mind and hope for the best but don't expect the world. Be thankful for the good times and the opportunities given to you. You're lucky. Have fun! But don't expect things.

2. They act as though 150 new shows don't come out every year. Um HELLO? That confuses me. Did you think you were on the only reality show in history? I find it so funny when past season people of reality shows get butt hurt, jealous or annoyed when a new season of the show they were on comes out or when NEW reality stars are getting all the attention. Quite a few reality shows go on for season after season. You had your time. You had your season. It's not about you anymore. Watch the new season. Give them their turn. There are TONS of reality stars. Don't hate on them when they get to enjoy their 15 minutes like we all did.

I've noticed a lot of them get sad that they aren't the "Loud hot chick with the drug problem" or "The Gay one" anymore, cuz there is a new one of those on VH1 or MTV. Who cares?

There is so much talk about Jersey Shore and all this blah blah blah controversy. Leave them alone. Let them enjoy it. Let them have fun! I love THEM. They are soo entertaining and I personally hope they get a season 2! But chances are in a year from now no one will be talking about any of them because there will be 10 other new MTV shows that are gonna be CRAZY and the talk of the blogs. Producers see what Jersey Shore's ratings are. So what are they gonna do? Try and top it. Try and come up with something even MORE outrageous.

I don't think I am delusional. I think I GET it. I went into my reality tv experience for one purpose: Paris Hilton's friendship. I got it. I'm Happy. If someone asks me if I am interested in doing something and I am. I'll do it. If not. I won't. I'm not hungry. I'm not desperate to put myself out there. I'm not bitter, jealous or a hater. I love my life and everything in it. And I love Jesus. He's hot.

Thank You.

Vintage BFF Pics

2010-01-02T17:05:00.000-08:00

Our Cast Coordinater on BFF whom was like our House Mom, Stacey uploaded some pics I totally forgot she took of us when she took us to her Horse Barn on one of our days off from filming. They are from the day after this:When we were in the Final 8 but just had the boys added to the cast. I miss this.

24 Hour Vacation Talk

2010-01-02T01:18:00.000-08:00

(Talking about this loser Daniel & I don't like)
Daniel: Did you see his Facebook status? It's so gay.
Me: I don't get it. He's Facebooking like he's skinny.

(At Daniel's Sweet Asain doctors office)
Doctor: Okay Daniel you're all set.
Daniel: Thank you Dr.Chang
Me: That's horny.
(A minute later)
Daniel: You did NOT just tell my doctor "that's horny!"

(In the car on the way to Vegas)
Daniel: Jesus is the most world renound movie star. When I meet Jesus I'm not gonna ask for an autograph....I'm gonna ask for a picture!
Me: Wait, do you think we'll be able to take pictures with Jesus in Heaven? Heaven like heaven, not Heaven the night club.
Joseph: No. You'll be dead.
Me: So we don't get cameras?

(More car convo)
Me: I wanna go to heaven.
Daniel: I wanna go to hell, atleast in hell there will be food, alcohol and hot guys. Literally!
Me: Actually I don't want to go to heaven or hell...I'd rather just be a ghost and like...haunt people.
Daniel: Yeah, I guess me too. But not a bad ghost, we'll haunt people in a good way. Like if they pour a cup of coffee and turn around...we'll go drink it really fast but wear red lipstick so when they turn around they'll see it and be like what the hell?!

(At some Club)
Me: If he didn't smoke I may have let him touch my tits.

The End.
S

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T16:36:00.000-08:00

It seems like only yesterday I was 14 dressed in an Old Navy puffy vest and drinking apple cider with my best friend while waiting for the clock to hit midnight to see if the Y2K crap would happen. Whatever. I love New Years. I love going out. But this year I stayed in. Waaay too exhausted from Vegas. Thus I spent the evening watching Jersey Shore and chopping some more of my hair off. Cute.Last year on January 1st I told my best friend I wanted to make something big happen over 2009. This year...let's go even bigger. HUGE. Put your mind to it and use your looks and ENNNNYTHANG is possible. Thank you.

I can't believe it's already 2010! Pretty soon it's gonna be 2012. Y'all better get ready. Jesus is coming.

It's gonna be hot.

Happy New Year.

2009

2009-12-31T22:35:00.000-08:00

2009 was by far the best year of my life! Everyone has "their year" and this was def mine! BFF pretty much consumed my 2009 and kept me busy from January up til now. I've had the time of my life, made the best friends and traveled all over the country.

It all started with a post on PerezHilton.com saying "Paris wants a New BFF-again, Apply here" which led me to fill out an application and be called in January 27th for an in person audition.

On to a month and a half later in March where I was just randomly at work one night and got a voicemail saying "You're in the final 40 for Paris BFF Season 2!"

6 days later bags were packed and I was gone filming a television show from March 11th to April 13th and had the expierences of a lifetime.
June brought me a new adorable nephew, Chase Ryan Hampton.
BFF aired all Summer and I got to travel with the girls and go to so many fun places. Then BAM! After keeping the secret of winning for 4 months I was officially Paris Hilton's New BFF!
Woah.
September, October and November were spent vacationing with....

My Family:
My dear friend Onch:
and ofcourse Paris:
Parties, Events, Parties, Events. HOLIDAYS.
Christmas. Then a trip to Vegas for Daniels Birthday.
Now here we are December 31st, 2009. It's safe to say...I LOVED YOU 09!

So...2010...what are we gonna do this year?

Horny.

Gay P.D.A

2009-12-29T22:49:00.000-08:00

I'm curious to know what everyones views on "Gay Public Displays of affection" are?

I remember when I was 19-21 with my first boyfriend we were NEVER affectionate in public. We would put a jacket over our hands in the movies and sit at the very top row.

Then when the next boy came along all that went out the window. Cuz Um hi. Have you seen him? Who wouldn't want to be gay in public with him? I remember freaking people out at Disneyland cuz I sat in his lap on the Matterhorn and held hands infront of the Castle. (I may have even popped my leg while huggin him in a pic. Sexy.)

The last boy I dated didn't look gay at ALL. He's tall, buff, acts straighter than most straight men. He did one of my personal favorites in public, the whole 'throws your hand away when people look' thing. It doesn't bother me. I think it's funny when you're walking along and 2 seconds later you feel you're hand being throw away at lightning speed. But P.S. Even if we weren't holding hands you're still walking next to me...and um...that makes you look pretty gay. Horny.

However

I think anyone should be affectionate in public if they want to. Lord knows I have to tolerate watching and being subjected to nasty ass couples being way too "affectionate" and groping one another in public and seeing 16 year old latina girls with no eye brows with their bald tattooed 30 yr old boyfriends be all over eachother.

No thank you.

If you can do what you want. So can I.
x

From the Mouths of Stephen & Daniel

2009-12-29T20:25:00.000-08:00

(Late Night Girl Chat)
Daniel: Earlier today I was standing in the driveway with @thehole and he went to give me a kiss and a car drove by and my instant reaction was shoving him and saying "Get off me you faggott!"
Me: LOLS

(Dinner Gossip)
Me: Have you ever stopped talking to a boy because he isn't photogenic?
Daniel: YOU ARE FUCKING CRAZY!

(At Tigerheat)
Me: Daniel who cares? Just kill em with kindness.
Daniel: Fuck that, Imma run them Oompa Loompas over.

(Twitter talk)
Me: It's stupid to follow people if you don't wanna read their tweets anyway.
Daniel: Well then I hate to say this but.....I'm unfollowing Snooki.
Me: LOLS

(At Daniels work)
Me: You honestly find him attractive?
Daniel: It's not that I think he's hot
Me: ?
Daniel: (long silent pause)......I just wouldn't mind rubbin crisco on him.

(At McDonalds)
Me: Excuse me...I ordered 2 Vanilla iced coffes, I think you rang me up for the wrong order.
Lady Worker: Hmmm okay...let me found this for you.

Hampton Family Pic 2009

2009-12-29T20:05:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we took our yearly Fam photo. UNFORTCH my oldest brother Ryan and his Wife Laura and their 2 daughters Madilyn & Makynna couldn't make it out from Texas. :(

Last night:
It's so funny looking back on each years family photo and seeing how my family has changed and especially GROWN.

2008
2007
2006
2005Loves them.

Don't Be a Teenage Hoe

2009-12-27T13:41:00.000-08:00

Yesterday at the mall I saw a Mother walking with her probably 12 year old daughter, and the daughter was dressed like a complete whore.Aside from the fact that it's December and like 4 degrees out WHY oh WHY do some mothers let their daughters that are that young dress like sluts? I've always found that so weird. I know there are those Moms who live through their teenage daughters cause it makes them feel cool cuz they weren't. Ya know...they like want their daughter to be :

a. Popular
b. Hot
c. Reeling in the boys

Gross. I'm so glad I have parents who want to be Parents first and friends Second. It sets such a bad example when you don't mind if you're daughters tits are hanging out and her butt cheeks are slipping out of her shorts. I assume you don't mind when she's 14 and pregnant either right?

That is NOT horny. Be strict you lazy parents.
My sisters are responsible, wise, funny and GORGEOUS. And they don't need to dress like East LA Prostitutes in order to snag anyones attention.

I love whores, but wait until you are 18 before you start to dress like one. I did.Horny.
(p.s. All you Miley fans: Before you shit your pants and tell me "Don't talk bad about Miley!" I didn't. I used her pic as an example because she likes acting like a whore. NOW you can write me. Love you.xoxo)

Christmas 2009

2009-12-27T13:26:00.000-08:00

The past few days have been miserableeeeee! I unfortunately got a cold. However this was like no other cold I have had. Most stuffy noses, aches and headaches don't bug me too much. BUT this one was awful. I couldn't breathe out of my nose which was making my lips chapped, which was making me bitchy, which was making Christmas not cute.But my mood changed when I saw how excited my little nephew Parker was over Christmas and Santa. So cute! Kids and Christmas is so fun to watch. They get SO excited. It's adorable. All in all Christmas day was so much fun with my family. I love them.I love Christmas. It's horny. Merry Late Xmas.
Stephen

Confession

2009-12-23T21:28:00.000-08:00

I think I'm boy Handicapped.Daniel and myself were discussing boys of the past and he pointed out SO many strange but true facts.

1. When a boy likes me I won't like him back until he doesn't like me anymore.
2. If I like a boy, I make up reasons to not like him. i.e - His socks were too dirty, his underwear was too gay, his fingernails were too long, etc.
3. If a boy isn't giving me the attention I want I start to like him more and more and then when he does give me attention I get over it immediately.
4. If a guy likes me and has NOTHING wrong with him I push him away.
5. I convince myself I don't want to date even if I really do.

I haven't let myself "fall in like" with a boy in a while and a couple months ago I did. HOWEVER....One of these 5 things happened. Ofcourse. The annoying part is usually after 5 days I'm over it. But for some reason I'm just not. So weird.

All I have to say is:

Paris Got Paid for BFF! No way!

2009-12-23T20:36:00.000-08:00

That was sarcasm. Today I recieved a Facebook message from some bored kid who thought he ought to write and let me know this...

"Too bad Paris was totally paid to be your friend."

Immediately I let out the LOL's. I love when 19 year olds talk to me like I'm 11 or better yet...19. So here's my message for you sweet child of Goth:

No shit Smart one. Did you honestly think I thought Paris wanted a friend so bad that she decided to call MTV and say "I need a friend! Can I please have a TV series to find one! I'll do it for free!" That makes me LOL. You think Paris Hilton would film a television show for 30 days straight for free? And endure Hellish hours, long interviews, crazy cast mates and being in a 24-7 Camera ready state of mind. Um... I don't think so. Ofcourse she was paid. We're not even in a contract to be friends she choses to talk to me on her own. She's my friend bitch. We finished filming that show 8 months ago.

In conclusion: You're not hot or smart. Thank You.
xo xo,
Stephen

Road Rage

2009-12-23T15:01:00.000-08:00

The one thing that I have zero patience for is BAD drivers. It brings out the devil gay in me. Daniel laughs at the things that come out of the mouth when my Road Rage hits the boiling point. I usually don't cuss that much but on the road it just FLIES right out of my mouth. Most things not even making sense. Yesterday I decided to keep track of how many times I got irritated on the road and what flew out of my mouth.Yikes.

1. Oh you're so cool, you stupid f*ck. No one cares about your music. GO!
2. Come on f*ck face quit hugging the right lane.
3. Are you f*cking kidding me you dick wad?
4. GO! You shit for brains ass hole!
5. Oh give me a f*cking break.
6. If you can't fu*king drive and talk on your phone then don't loser.
7. Hurry the f*ck up are you joking?

Bad boy.

Comic!

2009-12-21T14:36:00.000-08:00

A very Talented artist by the name of Erika Moen made this adorable comic about me! I posted a pic of it several weeks ago but NOW I'm lucky enough to have the original art! I told Erika how much I loved it and how sweet and flattering it was and she sent me the art! It's soo funny and amazing! I am totally going to frame it. Thanks Erika!Everyone should check out her site and book. She has such a funny sense of humor! I love it!

www.ErikaMoen.com
www.darcomic.com

What I've Learned This Week

2009-12-20T14:47:00.000-08:00

1. Servers at Chili's Think They Deserve a HUUGE tip No matter what!This week Daniel and I went to Chili's for the 1st time in......a year maybe? I dunno. After we were sat it took our server 15 minutes to even come to the table, 10 more to get our drinks, 30 min til we got our appetizer, etc. etc. All in all we spent 1 hr and 45 minutes there. Um. Really? A dinner for 2 at Chili's is like a 40-45 min ordeal if that. In this day and age I tip based off service. Not just for the fun of it. And leaving this girl a couple bucks just didn't feel like the lesson I wanted 2 teach her. Thus I came up with a plan. While we were waiting for our desert I put 8 dollars underneath the salt shaker. Which to the server would look like it was her tip. So when she came around with our desert she saw the 8 bucks and TOTALLY changed her tune. So sweet, happy, and efficient. Too little, too late bitch. So once we paid the bill, we swooped up our 8 dollars, left her a couple ones and booked it.

Want a good tip? Work for it. Don't think being cute is gonna pay the bills baby.

2. Some People Think having a "CRUSH" means you want to be in a relationship?I've had 3 boyfriends in my life. Three. I have had hmmm let's see maybe 20 crushes. 17 of which never turned in to anything more than a couple dates or hell...even a couple phone calls. A CRUSH is sooo normal. You meet someone, they're all sweet and huggy and silly and you get all 7th grade on them. Then.... EVEN though you haven't gone on a date, hung out OR even played 20 Questions they feel compelled to tell you "I'm just not looking for a relationship."

Wait. I haven't even seen you in the daylight. Since when are we even remotely close to getting in a relationship? Let alone go on a date? Daniel & I thought it was SOO lol. The whole way home we kept saying this "GIMME a commitment! I WANT THAT PROMISE! COME ON! Commit to me! RELATIONSHIPS!" Huge.

My Name is Stephen Hampton, I'm known for having blonde hair, tanned skin, being silly, Paris BFF and saying Thank You when it doesn't make sense. Relationships? No. I'm not known for those. Thank you.

xo xo
Stephen

Fearne & Paris

2009-12-19T21:27:00.000-08:00

Here's a clip from a special Paris filmed while we were in Vegas a couple months ago. It was a show with Fearne Cotton whom I absoultely ADOREEEE!!! Watch. :-)

MTV Twitter Round Up

2009-12-19T15:13:00.000-08:00

Ha ha My Embarrassing tweet about Texting 911 the other night made it on to the MTV.com 'Remote Control Blog's' Twitter Round Up. Silly.

Just a Typical Dinner

2009-12-18T23:50:00.000-08:00

Daniel and I had dinner together tonight. (As always) But today I was in an extra silly mood and was dying laughing over everything we talked about at Dinner. We covered all kinds of topics. (Talking about being Out last night)
Daniel: I had fun last night
Me: Me too
Daniel: I enjoyed choking Ashley
Me: YOU CHOKED ASHLEY!?
Daniel: YOU TOLD ME TOO!!!
Me: I did?
Daniel: Yeah, I said "I just wanna choke her!" and you said "Do it do it!"

(Then on to Boy Topics)
Daniel: I went to bed last night hoping that something would make you change your mind and you'd be over it. I'm glad you actually are!
Me: I know right? So weird.
Daniel: Yeah you get over things like that (snaps fingers) You stop liking people for the dumbest reasons...dirty fingernails, bad breath, wears the same sweatshirt too much.
Me: All true. Very true.

(Talking about the difference between San Diego boys and LA)
Me: When I dated Jason he was very focused, it was all school, and work and me. When I dated Ben it was all about school and........drugs?

(Random Talk about 2 Friends)
Me: Think about Dan and how much he changed when he moved out there, or....Dane.
Daniel: Dane?
Me: The guy we almost attempted to murder
Daniel: Ohhhh

(RANDOM LOLS)
Me: Everyone either thinks I'm a goody 2 shoes mormon or a whore. Neither are true.
Daniel: I know, like...you're really nice...but you're also one of the meanest people I've ever met.
Me: And IM soo mormon? What the f*ck is that?
Daniel: Honey...I'm Hitler.

(Car Ride Home)
Me: I saw that girl Precious from that movie at my work today.
Daniel: Thats hot.
Me: Yeah she came in with Precious Jr., looked just like her.

I have the best friend ever.

GAY H8ERS

2009-12-18T23:34:00.000-08:00

I'm sure all you Southern California Gays, be you new to the scene or old school know the malicious game of our kind. You know...the one where you tell a friend you talked to, hung out with, and/or saw a certain person and the Gay friend in return tells you... "Oh yeah, he's bad news." or "He's a whore, maneating, lying, broke ass bitch! Stay away from him."

Sounds familiar right?

I know, I know...EVERYONE is a slut. EVERYONE has diseases. EVERYONE screwed your best friend over but "shh you didn't hear it from me!" Ya....Not so much.

Our Species is so pathetic. This my friends is why I only have 3 REAL Gay Friends.

Daniel, Jason and Onch.

Everyone else is just in competition with one another in their little self absorbed world. Everyone else gets jealous too easily. Everyone else doesn't want anyone to be happy. Everyone else thinks their hair is cuter. No.

Whether it be a new gay friend I've met, a love interest, or even someone you simply make out with...the ENTIRE gay community must weigh in all their negative comments. I feel bad for them. Because I never single handedly have made up lies or gone around trying to trash someone for a make believe reason. But then again it's the person believing the trash talk that I feel bad for. When a Gay Gossips about someone else to me it's like listening to a 4 year old...I don't take it serious at all. I just nod my head and say "Aww precious."

ATTN Gay Youth Under 18: Get ready kids. You have NO IDEA what you're about to get into. It's not cute. Like...at all.

x
S

You're My Partner

2009-12-17T14:11:00.000-08:00

Okay maybe I'm weird and the only person who thinks this sounds weird but...

Why do gay people refer to their boyfriend, fiancee, husband, or whatever as...Partner?

Um. Are we Potato Sack Racing? Partner.

It just sounds bleh. I've never referred to a boyfriend as my "partner" and I don't think I ever would. It sounds so Western. "Hey there Partner!"

This is my PARTNER for Potato Sack Racing and Manipulative Mind Games:
And THIS is my EX BOYFRIEND, NOT ex PARTNER! Imagine having a convo with your friend...
Friend: Aw did you break up with your Partner?
Partner1: Yeah he just wasn't that good of a partner, he like disrepected me and I was like "I can't bring a partner like you home to meet my parents. They'd be like "This is the kind of partner you want!""

K I gotta go, I'm making myself laugh and that kinda means I'm a psycho.

Bye.

BFF Reunion Vacation

2009-12-17T14:05:00.000-08:00

I'm sooo excited! 9 Of the Girls (Stefanie, Tiniecia, Amanda, Elena, Kristen, Kaitlin, Nicole, Arika, and Desirae) from BFF and myself are all going on a weekend Vacation in January! Last night I was at home and was just missing everyone so much. It sucks that all of us are scattered throughout the country and rarely get to see one another. SOOOO I thought...whatever let's meet in Vegas.I text all the girls and everyone thought it was such a great idea! I'm soo excited! We are kind of a weird Reality TV Cast because......we all get along and we all talk throughout the week and have ever since filming ended in April.

That weekend is gonna be NUTS! I can't wait. You should come too.
P.S. Bowhead you're not invited. But you already knew that.
x

LOLKitty & A Q-Tip

2009-12-17T13:54:00.000-08:00

So my cat Mee Dell is in heat but does not have an appointment with the Vet til next week. Which I thought would be fine until 5am rolls around and all I hear is "ROOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW" The LOUDEST most annoying howls I have ever heard in my life. So last night Daniel and I remembered hearing about people using a Q-Tip to do your cat with so they shut the f up. I googled it and sure enough it's even in some Cat Handbook or whatever.

We decide to try and the convo goes something like this...

Me: Should we do it?
Daniel: I mean....I guess.
Me: Okay.....I guess let's fuck our cat.
(Daniel gets QTips)
Me: It says do it slowly at 1st and then faster
(Daniel just shoves the QTip in)
Me: NO! You have to like....stimulate her. You can't just shove it in. Rub it up and down.
Daniel: OMFG
(The Cat hates it, Daniel leaves to get new Q-Tips, walks back in my room)
Daniel: (holding up two Q-Tips) Hey Mee Dell wanna try double penetration?

LOLkitties. So funny. Poor Mimi.

Hair Change

2009-12-16T00:24:00.000-08:00

This week I darkened my hair twice. Since then most of my friends and Twitter/Facebook people have said: "So much better."
At 1st I was like "Wait, was my hair ug before or something?"

Then I opened a folder of pics on my Computer and about barfed at the sight of 6 month ago hair compared to now.I see it. I see it.

Stephen

Gays + Youth

2009-12-15T23:58:00.000-08:00

Why are gays so obsessed with being young?

Really though? Sometimes it confuses me.

2 Weeks ago at a Hoe Bar a lil Tweenager came up and said "I loved you on BFF! How old are you?" When I replied with 24 he tells me "Ha ha! You're old! I'm 18! Don't be jealous!"

Um. Jealous? Why would I want to go back to the age where gay boys run around with non existant eyebrows and take their shirts...I mean Forever21 tank tops off at clubs in hopes of a lil attention. No thank you.

Boys lie about their age and say "Ha I'm 22 gurl! Just kidding I wish! I'm really 25." What's wrong with 25? 25 is hot. Who cares?

Or the older ones who are SO obsessed with staying young that they do the whole Joan Rivers thing and say they are in their 30's when in reality they are over 60. That's hot.

Old gays act angry and bitter towards younger gays cause they wish they were young and young gays act like they have something older gays want and feel like they're hot shit. So ugly.

Just age and shut the fuck up.

I love my age. Every year since 18 has gotten better and better. I'd never go back to any age.

I honestly feel like if it were possible to be a Vampire and stay young forever that 9 out of 10 Gays would be like "Bite my neck. Bite my neck NOW."

Thank you.

From The Mouths Of Stephen & Daniel

2009-12-15T23:43:00.000-08:00

(Walking up to a Club In LA)
Daniel: I feel like I look like a Soccer Mom in this.
Me: No You don't. You'd only look like a soccer Mom if it was unbuttoned.
Daniel: It is unbuttoned.
Me: Oh. Oops.

(After I did an Interview with HX Magazine)
Me: I just did an interview with HX Magazine
Daniel: Whats HX stand for...?
Me: I dunno.
Daniel: Homosexual X men?

(Girl Chat B4 Bed)
Me: Wait, what do you mean?
Daniel: Okay...you know how cats don't like dogs and gays don't like lesbians

(Daniel in a fight with Kera in the car)
Daniel: Kera shut the fuck up this isn't disneyland
Kera: You shut up
Daniel: I ain't gon' shut up unless you got some crawfish, so unless you got crawfish don't tell me to shut up!

(In San Francisco)
Boy: So can I have your number?
Me: Sure. It's 1-800-huuuuge

Oh dear

2009-12-15T23:25:00.000-08:00

Tonight I had one of the most amazing 2 hour long convos with my GREAT friend Donna. She recently broke up with her boyfriend whom she was living with and moved out and is learning to be on her own after being with him for sooo many years. We swapped stories about how living with a boyfriend at such a young age can really mess things up.

Sure did for me. After reminiscing I went home and watched this video I made for my ex boyfriend shortly after we broke up and were on good terms. It's sad, funny, and cute all at once. Watch if you're bored.

x
Stephen

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Holiday Party at Solis San Francisco

2009-12-13T15:11:00.000-08:00

Friday Night at Solis was SO much fun! Such a great crowd and everyone was soo sweet! Onch & Me had such a great time! Thanks to everyone who came out! It was so great finally meeting Traver Rains and also seeing my friend Rachel from BFF! Thanks for a great weekend Steve Haas!Stephen